psychological

[top_driver]

since i'v become,,, not so angry anymore, everything i could do really well has gone downhill, everything i do, it seems to based on anger, i'v always had low self confidence, what is the best way to go about being at my best without only having being driven by rage

[Quassia]

You feel you're not successfully driven without anger? Not sure what you mean top.

[NOX]

As an (ex) very angry person, tackling it is as I'm sure you'll know more difficult than most people will imagine. I too had low self esteem which I over compensated for by being aggressive and violent and by hurting people first before they got a chance to hurt me ( both physically and emotionally) - not a great recipe for a happy life.
Nothing will change with you until you get to the bottom of why you have low self esteem- for most people it's brought on by other people who also have low self esteem and are bullies because of this. If it's an emotional issue then try to find someone to talk to- speaking to someone who has no axe to grind and who can be objective works wonders and forgive yourself your mistakes-THAT is the most important thing- everyone makes them no-one is perfect no matter what you might think. Begin one day by deciding that your life will change and be better and even if you have setbacks keep going on with it- it's very hard at first breaking learned behaviour patterns- but it is possible- i'm now generally a very happy very relaxed person and from someone with experience of this- happiness and success comes far more easily and readily if you don't feel the need to succeed quite so much- so relax a bit about ' being your best' as that will place you under constant pressure which will trigger stress and anger. Good luck

[Quassia]

^ NOX seems more capable than me of answering you. I hope you find a solution top. Take care!

[top_driver]

ye, true, i bottle everything up instead of letting it out, and i never forgive myself for mistakes, even from back when i was 4 i just wont let anything go, cant being the word, i really want to get to the bottom of it all so i can just get on with things,

basically i do things better when i'm with anger, or anxiety will have similar affect

[looby1914]

See im like you in one way bottle things up for stupid amounts of time then i blow up about the slightest thing. I have reasons from past that have hindered me talking and opening up which im slowly dealing with.. Self esteem and lack of confidence is a major issue but guess the past ive had is the root of it all tbh.

You need to try and think bit more postively ((i know easier said then done)).. if you see something that can lighten your mood try and focus on that when dealing with things. Put that to the forefront of your mind and use the little strength around it to help in situations.

[top_driver]

ye, true, i will try my best, i wouldn't mind just forgetting a lot of things though, some things are also subconscious