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i think its really a silly question i have asked at the spare of the moment when feeling down, i know its going to end , its inevitable i think, i just cant bear to lose another child, i was married before and that fell apart ( lucky guy) i see my 2nd daughter who is 15 from time to time but its just not the same, i blame myself too, its not only one sided, it never is , is it. she went off on one this morning even after i put my arm around her and tried to give her a tickle and a bit of humour, ranting and cursing in front of the child again, i told her to stop her mouth, thern i sat and ignored her. she went off on one yesterday and i took myself out, yes to the bar, had about 5 pints and came home, spoke to my friend who,s a phycologist and works in mental health , he is going to sit down with her and have a talk tonight. he had a talk with me last night, i need to learn to shut up myself and not rise to her when she blows up, any other advise ladies ? i think if i bought her a bunch of flowers shes smack me over the head with them ;-)