Fear of driving after diagnosed with epilepsy...

[ChocolatChip]

Not sure this is Body and Soul question but here I go;
My husband was diagnosed 2 years ago with epilepsy (after a year of diagnostic tests). Therefore since November 2008, my husband has not driven a car. Also, a note that he did crash a car after one of his first seizures.
He came close to getting his license again, even getting it through the post the same day he had another seizure.
It's been 14 months since he's had a seizure, and now has his license back. We were sorting out a new car and insurance. But today he's come to me extremely upset saying he can't bear to get in a car, that he can't trust himself and believes that he'll have another seizure.
I completely understand his concerns and it has always worried me it might happen. But he says he must drive again, and he seems in his mind that he's having a terrible battle believing he has no choice but to drive again, but too terrified to do so.
I don't know what to do or how to help him??? I suggested a refresher course with a friend whos a driving instructor but says he can't.
I really don't know what to do...

[boxtops]

I'm a nervous driver after a couple of experiences which spooked me - nothing to do with health - and I took some extra "lessons" with an ex-police driving instructor, to held get my confidence back. I wouldn't advocate a friend doing it, but a third party who would have an understanding of your husband's fears.
However - if he doesn't want to, does he really have to drive? I was without a car for eighteen months and did everything that I need to do, on public transport. There is no need for him to force himself unless you absolutely must have a car - or, what you save in not having a car means you can afford the occasional taxi instead.

[Eve]

Has he been medically certified as ok to drive again. seizures under control etc...

I must admit, if it were me I don't think I could get behind the wheel of a car if there was any chance of me having a seizure whilst driving - I wouldn't be able to live with myself it something happened I could have prevented.

If he is a potential danger on the road then the only answer for me is for him to stay away from driving. Just the distraction factor with him being worried something could happen could be a danger in itself. Maybe it's not a bad thing for the greater good that he doesn't want to.

[ChocolatChip]

Well, I said friend, probably more of an acquaintance really, he was my driving instructor when I passed, and he knows me and has met my husband on a couple of occasions.
Well, he doesn't really need a car 100% but need some kind of transport. The job he does is kind of difficult hours (where buses and trains aren't available). At the moment he can walk to walk, but we've just brought a new house a few miles away from the job.

[ChocolatChip]

Yes, he is medically fit to drive again, and his seizures are very well controlled.
I don't believe that he is a danger, many many people have epilepsy and have driving licenses, its very common.

[Craftypig]

If he doesn't feel confident about driving maybe it would be in his best interests not to drive. The possibility of having another seizure may be remote but the stress of it happening again could affect his driving in other ways. Do you drive, could you drive him to work?

[bensmum]

This is something that he has to come to terms with - he may feel that he has to drive but he's managed for 14 months so does he really have to? I think Boxtops is right in that some lessons might help him. I think he needs to take his time here and maybe he will feel more confident in time. Perhaps getting his licence back has panicked him into thinking he has to do it.
I lost my licence for 2 years - due to epilepsy although I never had seizures.(It was a mandatory 2 years then) I was fine when I drove again but I do understand your husband's worries, it's very much different for him. I hope he gets his confidence back soon xx

[ChocolatChip]

Yeah, they never found out what caused his epilepsy. But when he becomes angry or stressed, they tend to be more likely to happen. It's been very hard for him, he was in a well paying job, nice car, doing really well. Then he developed epilepsy; gave up his car, had to quit his job and start from the bottom. He's been through a hell of a lot.
When he worked far away, I used to drive him. Now he works close by hes been able to walk to work. But as I say we're driving.
I can drive him, but I also work and have university and the difficult hours can make it complicated. I don't mind driving him, I have done for 3 years. But he says that he can't let me do it anymore. That it isn't fair.

[Sqad]

Epilepsy apart, I still feel that he is unsafe to drive for himself and for the safety of others.

I would contact the DVLA and explain the situation.

[ChocolatChip]

It's extremely difficult though, he needs some kind of way to get around. We live in an area that is very poorly provided with public transport. Only at certain times of the day. He must have a way to get around, either a car or moped or something of the kind.
His medication has been upped very high, and it's extremely unlikely that he'll ever have another fit again.

[RATTER15]

I was under the impression that you had to go 4 years without a seizure before being classed as fit to drive unless the seizures were exclusively during the nigh?

[ChocolatChip]

No, it may have been in the past, but now it's 12 months since last seizure you can get your license back. 6 months if you get them during the night I believe.

[ChocolatChip]

Epilepsy driving standards for driving small vehicles
You can apply or reapply for a category A, B, B+E, F, G, H, K, L or P licence as long as:

you have been free from seizures completely for one year*, or
you have experienced asleep seizures only, for a period of at least three years; and
as far as your are able, you follow your doctor’s advice about your treatment and check-ups for epilepsy; and
the driving agency is satisfied that as a driver you are not likely to be a source of danger to the public.
* The one year’s seizure free period applies from the date of your most recent seizure.

- Epilepsy Action website

[vulcan]

His medication has been upped very high, and it's extremely unlikely that he'll ever have another fit again.
Assuming this to be true then I suggest your husband takes a refresher driving course to restore his confidence and drive again.
After all, anybody who gets behind the wheel could have a potentially lethal heart attack at any time, it doesn't stop us from driving.

[Sqad]

The epilepsy is being dealt with, but we are now faced with a new separate problem. that of an anxiety state which needs addressing by a doctor and reporting to the DVLA.

[ChocolatChip]

The statement about it being unlikely he'll have another fit was from his neurologist, the doctor who has looked after him the whole time he's had epilepsy.
Anyone can be distracted behind the wheel, people have accidents for that reason all the time. I think if he could get some confidence back then he would be fine. And afterall, surely if the DVLA say it's safe, then they're the people who should know, right?

[ChocolatChip]

Squad, that's why I have suggested a refresher course, I think if he got in a car and just had one go he'd realise how much he missed it. He used to love driving when we first got together.

[ChocolatChip]

And there's no way he'd go to a doctor over a mental health issue.

[RATTER15]

That does seem very unsafe!! so if you havent had a seizure for 12 moths you are safe to drive?

I dont see how that can be safe by any standard!! My Brother often went for over 12 months without a seizure but still had them and eventually they claimed his life!

[Sqad]

The DVLA know about his drugs and epilepsy, but not about his anxiety state, which has never been assessed medically or reported to the DVLA.

In my opinion this needs addressing.

[ChocolatChip]

That's the standard though ratter I'm afraid, he had his license back after 12 months last time, and then had a seizure (this was on a lower dose of anti-epileptic drugs). This time he's had his license back 2 months and so far so good.