How much does food/mealtimes rule your day?....

[Jenarry]

This may seem a bit of an odd question but i'm curious. i've spent a lot of years with an up and down appetite and i can go happily through my day snacking and grabbing food when and where i can, (although i now this doesn't sound very healthy but i'm pretty busy and a healthy weight so it suits all round)
on the other hand my bf is the opposite and is very inclined to be talking about what we will have for our next meal while he's still eating his current one!
and on occasions when we are still out doing an errand or visiting and a mealtime is approaching i can see him getting all tetchy that we should be somewhere else sorting out some food!!!
i'm finding this a tad irritating now and embarrassing if we're with someone and theyany ideas pick up on his 'want to rush off' vibe.. he can get very grumpy too when his stomach is not being attended to!!it spoilt an evening out the other night because the waiter didn't bring his starter with ours.:O(
any ideas or thoughts peeps?...

[mike11111]

Is he an ex-serviceman, or an ex-prisoner?

[bunkmoreland]

i must say i'm food orientated,cos as i've got older,indigestion has raised it's ugly head,and so,the "right food" is important. However your boyfriend's behaviour seems a bit bordering on the extreme,and maybe it's trying to be"a control thing" to counteract some other problem?

[China Doll]

They don't rule my day but I prefer not to eat too late in the evening (after 8pm) so will not particularly want to be elsewhere when dinner should be occurring. I do get grumpy if I'm hungry.

[ummmm]

I'm like your OH. I spend way too much time thinking about food and what our next meal will be.

I'm probably more like you in my eating habits though. I'm a grazer. I'd be happy to live on snacks/small meals.

Having 3 kids and quite a few family members popping in for dinner....it's a bit of a chore trying to think of something to cook to keep everyone happy.

My OH also gets very grumpy if he's hungry....so do the kids. It's not often I actually feel hungry. I eat because I know it's time I did...not because I feel hungry.

[venator]

OH works 3 nights a week, so her stomach clock is all over the place!

Daughter is working on a writing project for her MA, and does her best work around midnight, so eats whenever she feels like it.

I tend to eat a main meal around midday, and often have a late night snack.

We have a family sit down meal about once a fortnight.

It's not good, but that's modern life...

[fredkins]

Food is not a big thing for me, I eat when I feel hungry which Is not often.But my OH and son just seem to have food on their minds all of the time. While eating one meal they are asking what is for the next,it doe's my head in.I get fed up of thinking what is for the next meal, especially now my son is on college break,i have to think what is for his dinner when at college he just wanted money to get his dinner.

[LoftyLottie]

We eat when we feel hungry with no rigid times for meal times. We both grab some breakfast when we feel like it - not at the same time. During the day when we are both home we have a snack when I decide I am hungry and at night we have a cooked meal which can be at any time between 7.00pm and 9.30pm depending on what we are doing and whether we are hungry. It the summer time it can be later. Food definitely doesn't rule our lives, but I do like food.

[bednobs]

if my husband if ever tetchy or shouty, i immediately feed him because i know that's the problem

[Old_Geezer]

As I understand it grazing is probably the most healthy way to eat, so long as you are getting the right foods, not choc bars and crisps for example. But then you miss out on the social aspect and relaxation of a traditional break for a meal with others.

I think it is a little obsessive to be missing the enjoyment on one meal in anticipation of the next. One would be losing the pleasure of the moment. There is a time & place to plan, and a time and place to unwind.

Tetchy/grumpy when food is due is understandable, we all react differently; my woman claims she knows when I need to eat, but I think she's just trying to justify her decision to break for food.

Ah yeah, waiters should bring starters together. Do you mean he had to wait for the second fetch of food from the kitchen, or had to wait minutes while they seemed to try to hide a drop off on their part ?

[Jenarry]

lol. no mike not ex serviceman or prisoner although that would explain it. i would describe him as a bit ocd about certain things and i think it definitely applies to his meals too.we've been on holiday away a couple of times half board and most afternoons the main priority for him was keeping the eye on the time so we could get to the hotel restaurant as soon as we can in the early evening for his dinner.and i'm a working mum and evenings at home can be a bit stressed for the same reason. :O(

[Jenarry]

no old-geezer they had completely missed his starter. he'd ordered garlic bread and a pasta dish for a main so i don't know if the kitchen thought he wanted them together so he sat with nothing ,had to ask waiter for it and it then came with our mains...he was not happy!

[Mosaic]

I can see this issue building up over the years to the point of causing friction, and I'd urge you both to get someone to talk to now so you can both work it through.
Take the food out of the mix - he's constantly anxious about one thing and the timing of each event.
Bring the food issue back in - he's not 'in the present' but is like an alcoholic with booze, always with one eye on the next hit.
This wouldn't be a problem if he were surrounded by like-minded people but it's annoying at best for you.
I think it's important not to compare what's going on with what others couples / families do - everyone is different and 'normal' is a very flexible definition. What's important is what you two can / want to live with and things you have posted suggest you might soon have had enough of this trait.

[Old_Geezer]

I don't think many folk would be.

Once I was at a meal when one of the party was still waiting for his, and had to ask when his was coming. It was at this point when the rest had their meal he was told what he had ordered was off the menu for some reason. No, he declined to order something else at that point.

[didoatwork]

I can quite understand where you are coming from. My partner is also always thinking of the next meal, snack nibble, whatever. I'm trying to retrain his brain!!

[JOBOBABE]

i think yr being a bit harsh on him... my sister is the same, she has a fast metalbolic rate and needs to eat every few hours or she goes a bit grey looking and feels sick... its her bodys way of saying 'i need food'!!!

and i'd be unhappy if my starter never arrived!

[Jenarry]

i know jobobabe i already have this worry with my mealtimes with my son due to health issues so i have to make sure he has his meals at the right time and snacks in between although he is like me and doesn't have much of an appetite and barely ever says he's hungry so it's always on my mind anyway and then i feel i have to worry about bf and his stomach too . it gets a bit much . more than once i suggested to bf on holiday recently to have a snack around 3pm to keep him going til dinner but he said no he was ok and of course by 6 he was starving and getting all tetchy and grumpy :O( :O(

[Jenarry]

i think you may be right mosiac. something else going on with him worrying about mealtimes all the time.