My Man Friend

[Redpoppy]

Hi Guys, new here and wanted to ask for opinions. I've known this work colleage and subsequent friend for around 10 years and he recently lost his wife and is now a widow. Our friendship is closer because of us both retiring and having time on our hands but he has been telling me he wants to be a woman and has now actually dressed as a woman in front of me and i don't know how i feel about it all. I'm trying to be a good friend but it's way out of my knowledge and depth. We're about to go to france together as friends and i just know he's going to want to go out dressed as a woman and i really don't know if i can take the glances and stares. We already encountered them recently when he was very feminine in our local pub. I need help........anyone?

[Paulacrazyplaits]

I have several friends who are gay drag queens or cross dressers and I fiercely defend them am as friend should whenever they encounter any prejudice! I have a live and let live motif in my life and believe that as long as you're not harming anyone why not!

[Mamyalynne]

If you find it uncomfortable then it is best you now decide it is the parting of the ways. He may need someone who is happy with the way he is.

[missnemesis]

Surely his friendship is the most important thing here. If you are (somewhat understandably) uncomfortable at the thought of his lifestyle choices then as mamya says, it's only fair you sort it out now. It would be a great shame for both if your holiday were to be ruined by unpleasant feelings.

Good luck in however you decide to handle this.

[Bobbisox]

stares are cheap redpoppy, if you genuinely like the guy for himself, and you appear to, let the bigots get on with it
Good luck x

[Redpoppy]

Thanks Guys. I did feel quite defensive at the pub recently and wanted to protect him from the stares. He wouldn't hurt a fly and i am determined to not let what the bigots do put me off being his friend. I can only help him in my accepting way of who he is and for what he is and that I will continue to do and if he wants to dress as a female in france, then i will be at his side. It takes all sorts in life and i have to agree with Paulacrazyplaits live and let live. Thanks again.

[DaisyNonna]

Try asking him .

[karenmac60]

You might find some useful information on here

http://www.beaumontsociety.org.uk/

If it gets to the point you are really uncomfortable though, I would suggest you take a step back from the friendship and allow him the freedom to be who he has wanted to be for years. He appears to have restricted his lifestyle for the sake of his wife, he is now in a situation where he can be himself - it wouldn't be fair for you to appear to be supportive now, only to place further restrictions on him or resent him further down the line. You do sound like a good friend though, and I wish both of you well - enjoy your trip! x

[wolf63]

It is natural for you to feel uncomfortable with the situation - he is probably scared about it all too.

If he is serious about living as a woman then he has to start somewhere. Going away might be good for him to really dress as a woman - but he has also to consider your feelings on the matter too.

At his age he is never going to look truly feminine no matter how he dresses - but he only has one live.

The link that karenmac has given you might help you understand - but he needs to talk to you about the situation.

Best wishes to both of you.

[Jemisa]

Watch 'Coronation Street' for tips, they've got a storyline going on at the mo that is just this problem. May help.

jem