yes, things should have been handled differently.....

[Amber-Rose]

...but the fact remains, plans were made, he was to leave his wife and do it properly as kids involved, we would be together, wife found out - screaming and arguing, he got kicked out the house but is back in the spare room and now he has made no contact. Why is this? He was open and honest (?) with me before the sh*t hit the fan. Wife should not have found out but she did, and I just thought as rubbish as it was, he would have used the opportunity to leave her, as he was going to do that anyway..... Should I contact him..?

[naomi24]

//I just thought as rubbish as it was, he would have used the opportunity to leave her, as he was going to do that anyway..... //

If he was going to do that, he'd have done it.

//Should I contact him..?//

No.

[sandyRoe]

When lovely woman stoops to folly,
And finds too late that men betray,
What charm can soothe her melancholy,
What art can wash her guilt away?

[Amber-Rose]

Thanks for all your replies. I am not justifying my/our actions by any means. I know it was wrong but its the old cliche - started off as chatting, laughing harmless flirting and progressed - again no excuses. I can't help my feelings, I was led to believe their relationship was virtually 'non exisitence' as man and wife and I thought that this may just have a happy ending. I am 41, old enough to know better I guess

[boxtops]

OK sqad - you're a bloke. We know we think differently (men and women, that is).

[jackthehat]

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
A medley of extemporanea,
And love is a thing that can never go wrong,
And I am Marie of Roumania.

By the time you swear you're his,
Shivering and sighing,
And he vows his passion is
Infinite, undying,
Lady, make a note of this —
One of you is lying.

[Sqad]

boxtops..;-)

[Sqad]

Blimey...all the poets are out in full force today..;-)

[naomi24]

//I was led to believe their relationship was virtually 'non exisitence' //

That's what most of them say. Life changes and we live and, hopefully, learn. Put it behind you and move on.

[B00]

.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rSBPIZ3rmzU&feature=related

[albaqwerty]

Amber, enjoy your own company for a while.x


JTH, I like that pome I do

[Amber-Rose]

Albaqwerty - now that's a challange for me!

[joeluke]

Words are cheap

There's a world of difference between saying you'll leave your wife and actually doing it

Lots of men say it just so that the extra marital sex will continue

[cazzz1975]

you are better off out of it amber, he was obviously never going to leave his wife and kids, let him go. you wouldnt want to be responsible for his kids growing up without a dad, that kind of thing will affect them for their adult lives as well.
let them work on their lives

[Amber-Rose]

Thank you all, for your comments.

[Scarlett]

I'm sure others have written this, but... she is his wife. The mother of his children. Despite what he said, I think her reaction has brought home to him the severity of his actions, and made him really think about what he is doing. I think he owes you an explanation, but give him some time. He will be confused and be trying to work out what to do. He may decide to be with you, but he needs to work this out in his head on his own. If he wants you, he will contact you. If he doesn't contact you, give him a coupla weeks and then ask him what's going on. He may stay with her for the sake of the kids. He may end up splitting up with her in 5 years time. But I fear you are only ever going to be the "other woman".

[Kassee]

You say "he was open and honest with me" - it sounds to me like he was a liar and a cheat - if he was capable of being so deceitful to his wife and children - then he is capable to being deceitful to anyone.

[joko]

its an age old story..."my wife doesnt understand me", "ill leave her as soon as the kids are grown" (or whatever obstacle he puts in the way) " honest darling you're the only one for me"

then he keeps her on for years and years, makes all sorts of plans etc, then just pulls the plug when it get too real

just walk away - easy to say i know but you've been 'had' by the sounds of it...

[ladybirder]

If he hasn't contacted you in a couple of weeks then he's made his choice and it's not you. Don't demean yourself any further by contacting him again.

[pastafreak]

You do not seem to be having a lot of luck with men .... http://www.theanswerb...g/Question944129.html

You certainly weren't a year ago.
This current 'relationship' can't be all that 'old'...less than a year..maybe only months. Way too soon to be thinking of 'permanent'. And too soon to really know him well enough to make such plans-as you have found out to your cost. I've been in a similar situation-though there were no children involved,thankfully. But if you've been in a longterm relationship that failed...and then someone kind and funny-who *listens* to you comes along-it's too easy to believe all they say. Maybe they believe it also-who knows? But it rarely ends as we wish it to-there's never a 'happy ever after' ending,unfortunately.

[welshlibranr]

Amber!........pasta is so right here!........take a break from men, take stock of your life!...move on!.....he's not the one for you!....