Wife off sick due to an ectopic pregnancy...

[muchlovex]

She is now resting at home after surgery. I mailed her sick note to her line manager and her LM knows what has happened.

My W has now received a letter from her employer asking for her doctor to reissue the sick note as the dates are apparently not clear (dates were very clear) and there was no doctor stamp on the form. The sick note does not ask for a doctors stamp, only for doctors address.

This has really caused my wife more upset as it's as if they are second guessing her honesty. Even her doctor said her employer was being unreasonable.
Her employer knows what she has been through and it seems as though they are being wholly unreasonable and heartless. We are trying to come to terms with what has happened and now this has really upset my wife.

I was inclined to ring her manager this morning and say how I feel, but there was no answer.

Does anyone else think her employer is being insensitive? after all the sick note was adequate.

[firewatch]

yes they are hun, and i would be asking-if there is one, to speak to hr.
She needs her rest and least stress as possible, i hope she feels better soon sending hugs via the netx

[jackthehat]

I think your wife's employers are being insensitive.
However, I also think that you'll be better off doing as they have asked; get it out of the way, move passed it and support your wife at this difficult time.
Don't get drawn into any arguments with your wife's employers, tempting as it may be.

Best of luck. xx

[barb1314]

Totally.I've been through this and it is a horrendous experience. So sorry for what you are both going through. I was advised to have about 8 weeks off but had about 4. My bosses were really good and even visited me so I was very lucky.My problem was I was stuck at home dwelling on what had happened and mentally for me,I was struggling at home.I went back to work and every woman I saw was pregnant (or so it seemed) so that upset me but getting back into my routine did help. Wishing both of you all the very best and a big cyber hug for your wife. It's pretty outrageous what her employers have done but a lot of people just don't understand what an awful experience ectopic is. Not only do you lose a baby,you can also lose your own life if it becomes an emergency. Take care of her and yourself xx

[Sqad]

Unless things have changed....a valid doctors sick note should have the date of onset of illness, date of fitness to return to work, the practice stamp and the doctors signature.

Yes, perhaps a little insensitive, but medical certification often is insensitive and contentious.

[murraymints]

I agree with Sqad..employer did not mean to be insensitive in all probanility..HR need paperwork to be in order....hope you are BOTH ok a nasty experience for you to have to go through........

wotcha Sqad..you ok my friend?

[Sqad]

hi murray...just fine....I would have wished you a happy birthday, but i don't do birthdays......anybodies ;-)

[murraymints]

apologies for the aside on this....

Sqad only my AB birtday..real B'day is Christmas Day..I may just be the second coming of the Lord you know...can you afford to take that risk?...Mwahahaha!

[China Doll]

I don't think they're being particularly insensitive to be honest, just practical. If that's what they require then it falls on them to ask for it regardless of the situation, if it's any consolation, I imagine they didn't feel too good about asking for the info, I know I wouldn't.

[boxtops]

If she's got a line manager it sounds like a big place - it's probably nothing to do with the LM, it'll be the HR or payroll department having to make sure that all the paperwork is correct. It's insensitive, but it's a technicality - they are not suggesting she's making it up. You can always send the new cert back with a letter to the HR director pointing out that the timing could be better. Who sent the letter?

[muchlovex]

There is no HR in this company.

her line manager's PA sent the letter, under her instruction.

[boxtops]

Ah, scrub that, then. I must admit that sqad's response does say what I would expect of a sick note. I do understand how you feel though. Best wishes to mrs. m ♥

[murraymints]

you have enough to concern yourselves with...just get it done and forget it..not worth getting stressed out over at this time....hope you are better soon mrs m..

[pretty_snowdrop]

I am afraid companies are getting stricter with sickness, since they have to treat everyone equally the genuinely sick are treated the same as soneone pulling a 'sickie'. I was off sick last year and i told my boss ( before i got my sick note) that i would be off for a few days because i felt terrible. He said i might be better tomorrow and make the effort to get to work... i was diagnosed with pneumonia. I can understand how you feel, my dad wanted to call by boss last year he was so annoyed with the way i was treated ( i am 38 and married Mwahahaha!). I hope your wife feels better soon. x

[bednobs]

i would presume they just need the paperwork to be in order to pay her, so as far as i see not being insensitive. When my son died (a day after he was born) i had to run around getting the matB certificate changed in order that my maternity pay could start. Yes i could have done without that but i did want to get paid.

[Tolsty]

When I had a miscarriage at 7 weeks, my line manager put it down as a "stomach ache". I've never really forgiven him.

[beso]

Tolstoy. Could it be that your boss was simply protecting your privacy?

[cathfromsaron]

yes insensitive BUT just get the information back to them as requested and forget it! your wife is more important!