I am still a virgin,what should I do?

[mystress]

I am 32 years old (female) and still a virgin.I am ashamed of this,what can I do!

Men seem to dump me too quickly,just what am I doing wrong?

Please help.

[Philtaz]

Absolutely.  Nothing to be ashamed of, if anything it re-affirms the view held by some that there are decent people still around, not prepared to give in too peer pressure and other 'longings'.  Take your time, there's plenty to choose from and having reached this far in today's society you are obviously someone of high moral values, all to scarce lately, who can wait a little longer. 

As Andy says relax, there's no pressure, YOU are in control and will do what you think is right at the right time with the right person.  Age means nothing, it shouldn't be a factor. 

Be lucky in life.

[arabianlover]

as my previous speakers rightly said: it's no matter of age, it's a matter of readiness. I am still virgin (23) and thought to me lonely all the rest of my life. But found a boyfriend a few weeks ago and think to be ready for my first sexual experience. I think he's the right one! Maybe you havenot been ready yet... . Just relax, best things come unexpected!

[pjm007]

I couldn't agree more with all the other postings, shame is certainly not the emotion you should be experiencing. I could, however understand your frustration. The best advice I could give would be to just bide your time, The right person WILL come along at some point. You are not doing anything wrong at all, If men dump you that is just fate and has more than likely done you a favour. Enjoy your life and take each day as it comes, it will happen when your fate decides its time to happen.

[jno]

look, I don't want to be a wet blanket, but there's no guarantee at all that Mr Right will just magically appear as some posters suggest. You do have to work at it - putting yourself in a position to meet people, doing your best to look good while still being yourself, and so on. But even then, it might happen tomorrow or not for years. It doesn't happen regularly, reliably or automatically, and you need to get on with living and being happy. (Happy people always seem to attract others more easily.)

One way of doing it is not to set your sights too high. Mr Right may not be Mr Perfect; he may just be Mr Good Enough. (I would say this is the case in more relationships than not.) If men are dumping you, that certainly sounds as if they're Mr Not Good Enough; so that's not something to worry about - for everyone who's right for you there are thousands who aren't.

Another element, as other posts have suggested, is not getting hung up about it or coming on too strong. There's no need to obsess about it: like them, I would say don't feel ashamed of virginity. It's not so long ago that it was something to be proud of, and it's still something worth keeping until you meet someone you really want to share it with. Good luck.

[newtron]

I agree with most of the above postings.  However, if you feel men are dumping you too quickly, you should probably try to figure exactly why they are doing this.  If there is a quality about you that is causing these men to dump you, you need to ask yourself whether or not you should change that quality.  If you like that  quality in yourself, then it is their problem, but if you don't like that quality, then you should consciously try to change it. 

[ALLO]

wow! that's something you should be proud of!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! if the men you meet dump you for that then they aren't real men!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you are a real role model for kids! don't change for anyone.  i say, you go girl! very cool. being a virgin is cool. hold out till you get married. that is the best gift you could ever give your husband. you! 

[WaldoMcFroog]

Very quickly, I agree with the majority of other posters; virginity is nothing to be ashamed of. As for what you're doing wrong, it's very difficult to say from the information you've given, but certainly try not to think of relationships as a means to lose your virginity.

I do have to say I wonder about Allo's comments: "being a virgin is cool. hold out till you get married. that is the best gift you could ever give your husband"

Being a virgin is no more cool than it is uncool. It is simply, as stated before, a state of physicallity. Fetishing it seems to me to focus too much attention on something which already has plenty of variables attached to it. Nor do I think you should hold out until you get married - unless that's what *you* wish and choose to do; you certainly shouldn't feel under pressure to retain it if you don't want to. Personally, I would have been a little upset if my wife had been a virgin. As it is, we've both had a few relationships, we're both comfortable with our bodies, our sexuality and sex itself. It's extremely rare that the sex you have at first is great sex and like many things, it requires practice.