Bullying....

[Smowball]

Young smow can in from sports day today and looked ever so upset but insisted nothing was wrong. After a while eventually burst into tears and said that on the way home on bus this gang of girls and boys took the mickey out of him the whole way, his ears - dumbo etc. Says is has been happening for months and months but he hasnt told me. Also happens in playground. He knows kids by sight but not names. Told him to ignore it as they are clearly immature but he says he has been trying that for montha and hasnt worked. Says doesnt want to go to school on Monday. Dont think speaking to school will really help as could make worse. Anybody had experience of this?

[mazie]

Does he have a big brother or sister Smow?

[Francis Asis]

The poor love. I feel for him. My advice would definitely be to speak to the school. You wont make it worse. Bullies rely on you thinking that.

[Traci66]

How old is he smow?

[treetops1]

http://www.bullying.c...advice/parents-advice

[ummmm]

I don't know what to say. My way is probably not the best way...

[Smowball]

He is 12. Admittedly he is quite sensitive - I know I am his mother but I seriously cannot see what they are on about re the ears, oh and his nose(??)
I have seen the type of kids who come out of his school and tbh they are pretty horrible. He doesn't want me to speak to the school so not quite sure wht I am meant to do!

[Traci66]

If he doesn't want you to approach the school, then there is not a lot you can do. Not helpful I know, but I am so glad that my kids are past that age.

[Smowball]

treetops - that is very useful!

[ummmm]

They break up soon Smow. Hopefully the bullies will mature somewhat through the holidays.

[Smowball]

I know you will always get kids like that but that doesn't make it any easier does it. Bloody little sods!

[Old_Geezer]

I'd have thought speaking to the school was essential. They can't work miracles but they can show it's not to be tolerated. They presumably don't want a reputation as a school where bullying is rife.

[ronnietoon]

schools do nothing,i was bullied and a bully(Sorry).

i once saw 1 lad being attacked by a group outside school and he just locked the gates.

maybe your son could join a self defense class or other clubs to make friends

the reason i was a bully at times was getting involved with the wrong crowd,so watch for that one.

[ronnietoon]

*teacher

[Huderon]

For the trip home on the bus, he could keep an eye open to see if that group are getting in the bus, let them get on, then wait for the next one.

In the playground, there is probably just the one ringleader. He could try simply ignoring them ... walk away from them whenever they start. If they follow him, walk away again. Do this a few times, then when it starts once more, confront the ringleader and ask him/her why, if he is that offensive to look at, they insist on following him. You might need to help him with a form of words - the idea is to embarrass the ringleader in front of her/his mates (that trick worked for my daughter at primary school, but I can't recall what it was she said). A few years later, at a parents evening at the secondary school, I was talking to the ringleader's mother when the girl (seen by my daughter as her worst enemy) piped up and told me that she really admired my lass for her ability to ignore the chaos around her in class and get her head down and learn. My girl was astounded when I mentioned it to her.

And talk to the school anyway, despite what he wants. There should be staff of some kind in the playground during breaks who can keep an eye on what is happening and intervene if needed, without giving away the fact that you have spoken to them.

[Nini74]

i think a self defence class is an excellent idea - karate or judo or something so that he feels more confident in himself (not that i'm suggesting it will or should get physical, but confidence comes through in funny ways - plus it may be that older children from the school are in the same class and may just keep an eye out for him in the playground etc). Why not contact the school, but do so at the end of the school year, and advise them that you expect to se a dramatic crack down on bullying in September. That way, nobody will get in trouble, your son won't get embarassed, but the school will be aware. Is there an older sibling or cousin who could catch the same bus a couple of evenings after school? can't imagine how you must be feeling, but pretty bloody upset and livid i suppose - poor little lad, sounds like he's been through it lately, poor thing xxxx

[starone]

Good idea, ronnie. Just the knowledge of the fact he is going to a class might put them off. Kick-boxing is quite popular I believe and they do junior classes. It might be quite a good idea to point out that Prince Charles has sticky out ears and if it is good enough for royalty then it should be good enough for anyone.

[sinderella]

scratch a bully.find a coward.
i would personally speak to the school and they should find out who the culprits are and make it seem as though they have noticed it.the bullies rely on the silence to thrive.
the self defence will help too.
after that you may have to lower yourself to their tactics!

[wiggal]

I have never spoken of this before, so here goes.. Although it is slightly different.
In my first year at secondary school at a disco I met my first boyfriend, after a few months he dumped me and then I find out that he had started a nick name for me! On all the school busses and the schools in town I was known as Lucy pancakes. I had it shouted at me off bus windows in town and was bullied for so long, because I was young and had no boobs!
Please be there for your son because I ended up hating myself and ended up with councelling because of it.

[welshlibranr]

speak to the school!.......they need to be aware of this, your boy has problems here, and you need to let the Head Teacher know about it Smowball, if she or he isn't made aware of the problem they can't help!......

[lcg]

when my son was bullied at that age and threatened with physical violence, i followed the ringleader home one day and knocked on his front door. he opened it and i told him very unpolitely that if he spoke to my son again or touched him, i would return to the house and do the very same to his mother. i also said that unless he wanted to be picked up by mummy every day that i would make sure he got a pasting as well. my son never got bothered by that little scrote again.