Is there such thing as a happy ending?

[nicelad!]

Relationships come and go as we learn different things about ourselves and other people. Are we destined to learn for the rest of our lives, or is there actually someone out there for each and every one us?

[L00fah100]

^Eh?

[starone]

I agree with woofgang. I was married to my husband for 63 years before he died. It wasn't always perfect but we loved each other and that gets you through. I could not even think of another man.

[Mamyalynne]

Woofgang, your feelings are absolute and true and I was recently in your exact same position. As i approach the fourth anniversary of losing my loving husband of 35 years, I am amazed to say - you can find love again. For it is my opinion if you have loved once you are even more likely to love again.

I take nothing away from the rawness you feel now for I understand it only too well.

Take care ♥

[Mamyalynne]

Of course Star, it may not hold true for everyone and I feared guilt and indeed some resistance from family....however that has not happened.

[L00fah100]

I'm starting to sense a theme here.

I think the older lot having seen their parents, grandparents, neighbors, family members always with the same partners have been unconsciously subliminally conditioned to think this way that only one person is good enough for them and you only have one soulmate etc.. But the younger generation who like myself have grown up seeing everyone go through several partners and realise that we're completely interchangeable and not exclusive for only one partner in our lives.

Would this be a fair comment?

[Mamyalynne]

No it is far too much of a generalisation.

[L00fah100]

Really mamyalynne? I think it's a fact and will be asking all my facebookers their opinions and i'll get back to you with the poll results.

[Mamyalynne]

That will swing it for me am sure, did I seem undecided?

[sir.prize]

mamy - you are a gem . . .LOL

[Mamyalynne]

Takes practice lol

[woofgang]

Lol mamya but that is my point which it seems loofah can't grasp. It's not something that can be generalised over and your experience is as "valid" as mine. The opinions of a multitude of facebookers who don't know me, didn't know my husband are as so many grasshoppers twittering in the garden. It's the assumption of some young........person who has no personal experience that I find.......irritating (the dots are where I tone down the language). And no loofah your last comment is not fair or even sensible.

[woofgang]

Shouls add Mamya, that my older sister is also widowed and she has found love again. I am delighted for her (and for you) but its not for me.

[Bambiagain]

I'm quite sure that some people find their soul mate and if they lose that person - after a long or a short time together - they never find another one either because they really don't want to or because it just doesn't happen. Just as some people never find their soul mate in the first place. It could be that there is more than one person out there for everyone, but that is not to say that everyone will fine even one of those people, for a multitude of reasons. They are lucky if they find one.

[cathfromsaron]

wolfgang, i don't think that there is only *one* person out there for anyone, and having loved once you will be more than capable of finding /giving love again, when the time is right!

(((hugs))) x

[woofgang]

sorry cath. If I hadn't found my DH, I would never have married at all. Now he is gone and that part of my life is over. I am not agonising about it and am certainly nor lonely.

[cathfromsaron]

thats good x

[boxtops]

Not at all, loofah - a lot of the older generation (like my own parents) stayed together because they had no option, they didn't want to be together but it was not the done thing to separate - and extramarital relationships were frowned upon, so they were unhappy, like it or not.

I'm not convinced that multiple partners make anyone any happier, it means people don't have to work at relationships any more, they just up and go when they've had enough, there's no staying power in some relationships these days - and I do speak from experience, I've been married twice, the first time much too young.

[Eve]

I may believe in a proper soulmate if one ever comes along :) Until then I just think it's more coincidence as to finding someone you are happy with for whatever length of time and people and circumstances change. I think it's different for everyone and also that people can be perfectly happy on their own.

[China Doll]

I don't personally believe in the term soul mate, I think pretty much anyone can find love if they're receptive to it, adn as trite as it sounds, it they think they're worth loving. But I think some people find a love that changes them and their life so fundamentally that nothing else would ever come close to that feeling, and to try to do so could make them mourne a loss even more.

^^^ I have no idea if that makes any kind of sense but I know what I mean!

[China Doll]

Oh.... and I do believe in happy endings but I believe that they take work and are not a fairy tale ending.