god awful situation!

[Furner]

The developments since my last question 'is he cheating?' I think I can pretty much say that he is cheating. He has now taken to having hour long conversations with the person in question whilst laying in the spare bedroom in our home. I have asked him if he is cheating but he still wont admit it! Why would he want to put me through so much pain by allowing this situation to go on anywhere near me, how after five years could he be so cruel and heartless?

[jno]

time to start considering the legal angles of who owns what, too - especially the house. Does it actually matter if he's cheating or not? When you've once seen him like this, could you ever feel quite the same about him again? Would you want to?

[Scarlett]

What an arse he is. You deserve so much better. don't take any more of this. I would guess that he has had some fling, and thinks the grass is greener, and maybe has been told by his bit on the side that he has to tell you/leave you. Either way, he is spineless, and you should make your plans to separate as soon as possible. Show your strength in this situation- phone your lawyer, get the ball rolling. You don't ned to take this. He will probably end up regreting his foolishness, but would you really want him back after this?

[MargeB]

People, in my opinion, are seldom evil. Everyone knows the moral code. Although some people do wrong, many people I think are acting in a way which they see as justified in the situations. I know plenty of situations where someone has cheated because they needed out of a relationship, for example, where they had good reason to believe that the other person was cheating. I'm not saying this is true in your case, I'm just pointing out that what may seem to be an 'evil act' may be his only way of trying to communicate a total dissatisfaction about something in the relationship. So ask:

-are the lines of communications in the relationship open?

-Did you do something that really pi((ed him off? Options often include:

flirting with another guy

having diametrically opposed financial interests (eg shopping on his money)

not wanting kids, he does, or vice versa

constantly nagging him

do your parents reject him outright or his you?

 

Just some ideas. Good luck. It's a tough one.

[iamnice50]

let me at him!

[helster]

I agree with Andy. He'd find it too difficult to face up to what he is doing which is he's is in denial. He's pretending to be cruel and heartless cos it's easier for him to cope.

Ironically you'll get over this long before he does.

It sounds as though he doesn't have much repect for you and you probably have very little for him after this situation. Just make sure to hang on to your own.

H x

[helster]

In response to MargeB. No amount of `pi((ing off' could possible warrant this behaviour. Flirting with another guy does not excuse an affair. Nothing does.