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recovering alcoholic

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nailit | 09:44 Mon 17th Sep 2012 | Body & Soul
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Have you, or someone you know, given up alcohol without going to alcoholics anonymous? I'm not talking about giving up social drinking, I mean actualy being an alcoholic and getting sober again. I know ive got a drink problem and need to stop but AA just doesnt 'do it' for me. I dont like the religious/spiritual element of it and I dont particularly feel comfortable in groups. AA obviously works for a lot of people but its not for me.
Any replies appriciated,
Thanks.
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I did stop finally, 'hit the wall', without using AA, but I was very grateful to find it. You are right about some meetings, but I found two in London which were excellent , without all the religious or quasi-religious overtones. I still go back occasionally. I never had a volunteer, personal, helper either, but some people there undoubtedly find that a benefit.It means they have someone to phone or speak to and generally watch over them.

Try lots of meetings, if you can. You may find one you like.

The real point is that being an alcoholic is a very lonely existence. Being in AA you are aware that you are not alone, but one of many who have suffered just as you have, and survived. Being uncomfortable in a group is natural, but I found that hearing them talk made me more comfortable. Nobody expects you to join in, after all. And you are surrouunded by people who once felt as anxious about admitting to being an alcoholic as you do, or did.
I was addicted to both drink and drugs and managed to give them up with the help of my second wife ( who I had just started living with then). She mentored me one to one, picked me up when I crashed, unravelled me and why I drank and took drugs and finally helped me rebuild myself and gain sufficient control over my thoughts and compulsions to totally re-evaluate both myself and why I had an unhealthy relationship with drugs and alcohol until now many years later I can drink in moderation ( she never subscribed to the idea that you can never touch a drop ever again- she thought that idea actually added to the problem). I could never have done the AA route but equally I certainly couldn't have done it without my wife.
I did come to realise that the alcohol abuse was simply a very serious side effect of very deep seated problems that I had and would never have gone away until I dealt with those, but on the upside, if I did it so can you.
A close relative put himself into residential therapy to give up, and has stayed clear with counselling and support. I'm not sure he did AA, but I expect these groups vary a lot from place to place.
Have a look for 2gether, they were so good when my son needed help.
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Thanks for positive replies guys. Very helpful.
And well done nailit for realising theres a problem mate.

You are halfway there already .....good luck and keep in touch xxx
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Thanks tinks.
And I second tinks on that. The saddest, but also rewarding thing, for me was to say 'I'm Fred, I am an alcoholic' in front of others (They chorused a cheerful 'Hello, Fred!' because they had been there too, and knew what it was like).By the time that happens, you feel resigned to what you have come to.Not good, is it? But that is the start of a wholly different, brighter, future. Mine was over ten years ago. Yours is now. The battle is more than half won already. Good luck!
2 friends with different experiences of stopping alcohol. ist friend used AA.for 2 years approx, at one time going to 4 meetings a day, even attended meetings abroad..... and had a mentor and became a mentor, alcohol free 10 years. 2nd friend, was admitted to hospital when family became aware of their problem. 5 days detox. never attended AA. been alcohol free for over 2 years. whatever route you choose nailit. i wish you well. ♥
i made a thread on this a while back and got plenty of support from people of all age,opinions and life experience which i found helpful beyond belief


wow i'm an alcoholic as fred in so many words says is not the instant cure we addicts(which i like to stress is one just because its everywhere and legal), i have thought that and wanted that on many occasions.

to relieve the stress
to relieve the anxiety
to relieve the anger
to relieve the boredom


in replie to your Q AA not for me, but you will find people similar to yourself and mine.

GOOD luck and if you want need any help,or to have a chat when the mind is racing just post on here.

cheers Ronnie.
-- answer removed --
Cutting down, or downgrading the 'quality' of your drink, doesn't work for alcoholics.
Fair point methyl but would downgrading not just mean they'd drink more of the weaker stuff?
methyl with thanks to your post on my thread yesterday which i presume was removed?

before i could mark you as best answer

if someone is an alcoholic your suggestion would not work.
I don't think we can ever say something 100% doesn't work, although for me I dont think that would have either, as everyone is so different alcoholics being no exception.
I have had people say to me that I couldn't possibly have been an alcoholic otherwise I would not now be able to drink in moderation, which is the biggest load of old rubbish I've ever heard, but people will resolutely tell me I couldn't have possibly been an alcoholic.
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Thanks for all replies. Like NOX says we are all so different. Ive known alcoholics who are scared stiff of ever touching the stuff again and others who have resumed social drinking. As far as downgrading goes, who knows? Im sort of downgrading anyway inso much as Im having 2 or 3 dry days a week now instead of 24/7 drinking like I was before.
Again, thanks for all replies. Very helpful.

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