I never fitted in with my family.
Growing up, I realised that my dad didn't like me at all. he may have loved me, but he didn't like me, I was not the son he wanted in any way, so our relationship consisted of constant bullying, belittling, violence, and strained silences.
My mum tried to over-compensate by favouring me over my older sisters, which created resentment that lasts to this day.
My parents split when I was twenty-four, I never saw or heard from my dad and he is now dead.
I see my mum very occasionally, and ring her very occasionally, we have nothing at all to say to each other, and we pretend that i am not estranged from my sisters whom I never see or speak to.
The good thing is, I have been fiercely determined that my children would not think of me the way i think of both my parents, and thanks to that, they don't.
We are close, and I continue to affirm them as good people even though they all have children of their own - it is vital to make children feel valubale, and who can value themif not their parents?
Philip Larkin's The Be the Verse says it all - not quotable on here though!!