Empathy, Sympathy & Emotion.

[EcclesCake]

I often read on here the outpourings of sympathy and shared grief for various events, be it the tragedy in the US this week or the demise of a celebrity, or their relative.

I don't/can't get emotionally involved with these events, I can to some extent appreciate the pain of losing a child/parent/sibling but I do not shed a tear as I have no association with these events or the people involved.

When I am confronted with death and destruction I take a practical and pragmatic position and offer constructive assistance. Maybe I'm a hard hearted bitch but I simply cannot comprehend the emotional response that is shown by so many when so far removed from the event. Having said that I appreciate the resonance for those who have been in a similar position.

So, finally, to my question.....how affected do you find yourself by News bulletins? How far do you relate your own circumstances to what is happening in the News? Do you distance yourself from the News to avoid distress?

Or, do you take a different approach?,

[woofgang]

I do distance myself from things which I will find distressing. If my feeling distress would help the injured or suffering by one iota then I would sit through it/read it, but it doesn't. Where there is practical need then I will give practical help. I do not like to show emotion publicly and avoid doing it.

[andy-hughes]

I think the need to share the distress of a major event involving deaths is a very human one, and I can sometimes offer a line of sympathy on here.

That said, I would never dream of leaving flowers at a road crash site, or indeed anywhere else. I do find that level of emotion to be slomewhat mawkish and ill-cinsidered, almost a need to point out how much an individual is moved by placing physical evidence, which is often for the benefit of the placer rather than the bereaved.

i am affected by news of tragedies, but strctly in proportion.

[237SJ]

Everyone's different but I'm fairly emotionally detached from it. I could never comprehend crying when someone famous dies. I don`t relate my own circumstances to what is happening in the news either but I do if it`s too close to home (certain terrorism tactics).

[Purple_Popple]

Weirdly I felt very sad at reading about the death of Peter Andre's brother.

[ummmm]

The only time I have got emotional about a news story was reading about the James Bulger case and watching scenes from the Tsunami.

I'm more like you in my approach.

What gets my goat is when a celebrity dies and people that have never met or spoken to them comments about what a wonderful person they were. There is a thread somewhere on AB praising Jimmy Savile...

[Purple_Popple]

Ummm, yes the Tsunami in 2004....that made me feel quite ill with the shock of reading and seeing the reports, but I had just returned from Sri Lanka a few days earlier before the Tsunami struck.

[sunny-dave]

I find the mawkish outpouring of 'sympathy', particularly as evinced by the ridiculous piles of teddies and flowers left at the scenes of crimes and accidents by people who have no personal involvement or association with the deceased person, to be inexplicable and sick-making.

Yes I am affected by the horrors depicted on the News bulletins, but no I do not feel the need to make a meaningless public display.

Perhaps I'm practical and hard-hearted too - but I prefer to think that I'm just not prey to a stupid 'me-too' urge to mourn publicly for people I don't know and whose death (in the final analysis) does not actually impinge much on my own life.

[cazzz1975]

I tend to avoid articles that are very harrowing (like baby p) otherwise I will think about them too much and get upset.

[andy-hughes]

Again - human nature. If someone has died, be theiy famous or anonymous, it hadly helps for anyone to say "Well, actually he was a cold-hearted Snag and the country is a better place without him in it!"

[LazyGun]

Some effect me more than others,for reasons I am not sure I can fully articulate.

Breiviks killings for instance effected me a lot - the calculation, the ruthlessness and lack of pity he exhibited effected me. Likewise, this recent tragedy in the US, and the one a few years ago at Columbine - examples of innocents killed without compunction, examples of selfless sacrifice by teachers shielding their students - all these I find moving.

On the other hand, I was totally unmoved by the news of Diana's death, other than the obvious emotion at hearing that someone young has died senselessly. I was totally amazed at the outpourings of grief exhibited by the british public, and found myself totally amazed at what I saw as a lot of mass hysteria and synthetic sorrow.....

Not quite sure what that makes me - some sort of sociopath maybe? :)....

[emmie]

i now react to this situations like the shootings in the USA with horror and often tears. Ever since losing my o/h i find that i am much more emotional and things get to me a lot easier. I think it was because i had to hold everything together for him and never had time to grieve, it now comes back to haunt me

[ummmm]

I cry at happy things and at films.

[rockyracoon]

I do get quite upset at disaster, tragedies etc, only because the voice in my head starts saying 'what if it was the little racoons', I was surprisingly detached from the recent shootings until they did a rollcall of the children that were killed, the worst I have be affected is when the Chechins (sp) killed nearly 200 kids in Beslan, Russia, that haunted me for days.

I'm not one for public outpourings though, I'm usually sat in my living room, I really don't understand the teddies and flowers at crash sites etc. Whatever gets you through I suppose.

[rockyracoon]

I do as well ummm, especially happy films, my kids sit and wait to take the pee.

[EcclesCake]

I suppose for various reasons my personal circumstances have dictated that I have to take a robust position on tragedy, otherwise I'd be in the loony bin :-(

[Jan1957]

I'm the same as em10. I cry at anything now, since losing my husband, and for that reason don't often watch the news. I cried when I saw the John Lewis advert! I have been surprised today at total strangers posting on a FB site for Peter Andre's brother. Whilst I find it sad I don't understand it if you didn't know him but do accept it is each to their own.

[joko]

i feel horrified and sad about it of course, who wouldnt ... but i dont 'mourn' or weep or feel the need to post public statuses of how sad it is etc.

i do find the messages some put on facebook with things such as, 'like if you care about the kids, ignore if you dont',
or
'repost this star to remember. some of you will repost but most of you wont because you dont care', kind of stuff

kind of trying to guilt trip people ... like fb statuses matter!

this business of trying to compete to show who cares most is sickening.
its a weird 'need' to feel 'involved' somehow and that they have suitably demonstrated that they care.

there was recently a hoohaa on facebook because someone bizarrely made a RIP tribute site to a missing child who hadnt even been found, and spoke as though they were already dead - even posting on the parents page a childlike message as though it came from their dead child themselves, from beyond the grave.

the parents were outraged, and would not accept that the person probably thought they were being sweet and kind - but thats the problem... this weird desire to immerse themselves in the grief and heartache.... cant undertsand why they do it.

[LoftyLottie]

I often wonder when people on here say things like "I am crying as I read your post". I can feel very sad but never shed tears for things that are far removed from me. In fact, I find it very difficult to cry even when I am sad. I cry with anger sometimes.

I am very interested in the News so don't distance myself from it. Yes, I do feel emotion and sadness and I think we can all relate to othe people's problems and empathise.

I cannot understand at all why there was an outpouring of grief at the death of Princess Diana or other such events. This seems to be a modern phenonema.

I cried when I heard about Dunblane - I was on my way back to the primary school where I worked when I heard it and it seemed very close somehow when I walked into the playground with all the little children.

[EcclesCake]

To typify what I mean I have just seen that a friend on FB is inviting me to like a link about Peter Andre's brother. By clicking on the link is going to make bugger all difference to his demise, perhaps the family will take comfort from knowing so many care but as it is a vicarious association through his brother how is it meaningful?

[LoftyLottie]

Oh yes ummmm, I find myself crying at happy endings in films!!

I have never cried in public, or at school or work.