Doe He Feel Different Than He Says?

[Briana_grant]

I just got into a friends with benefits relationship and am having doubts that what he has said is different from the way he feels. I get the feeling that he likes me more but I'm confused. This is the first friends with benefits relationships I've had and don't know if the way he acts is normal for friends with benefits. When we're in bed he has a habit of holding me, also out of nowhere he'll kiss my forehead. He has said multiple times he doesn't want a relationship but the way he acts feels as if we are. He also has a habit of interlocking our fingers and I'm confused by the gesture. We don't go out or do anything romantic but he loves cuddling with me, he said so himelf. I have started feeling more for him even though we haven't known eachother long. Also if I go to his house and hang out waiting for him to get home from work after he gets his jacket off he walks over to give me a kiss. The other day when he was going to work he gave me a kiss before he left. I've brought up the subject of me seeing someone else even if not a relationship and he said it would hurt him if I was with someone else while we had the friends with benefits thing. He had also told me that he'd be there if i ever needed to talk. What should I make of this? How would I approach this situation? If someone on the outside saw us the first thought would most likely be is that we are a happy couple. One of my friends had actually said we look good together and I wa just using him as a pillow and his arm was around me. How do I tell if what I'm sensing from him is what he is projecting? How do I figure out the truth? I'm scared to ak him but I really want to know. Hope someone can help.

[ummmm]

Do you expect him to have sex like a robot? Sex isn't just about the physical act, there has to be some connection and that's where the hand holding and kissing come in. The thought of you seeing someone else could translate to him not wanting you to sleep with someone else while you were sleeping with him. Sloppy seconds and all that!

How often do you see him?

How often does he ring or text you?

How old are you?

[Old_Geezer]

Since 'friends with benefits' is not a normal *partnership* relationship, then he has no justification for objecting to you going elsewhere for intimacy anyway. You two are simply friends by definition, and friends don't control what their friend does. If he wants exclusive commitment then you two need to renegotiate what your relationship is to be.

Go talk to each other. Sort it out.

[Prudie]

What's friends with benefits? No strings? I've not really heard the term (except for a film i think)

[woofgang]

Ermmmmm physical relief without commitment. Also known a f... Buddies.....one of the less charming and sensible modern developments in my opinion.

[smurfchops]

Friends with benefits? Never heard of it but I can imagine what it means. Obviously you don't want a friends with benefits relationship so why did you start it in the first place? Tell him you want more than this type of relationship and see what his reaction is and give him an ultimatum - that means make him decide what he wants otherwise get out. Sounds like he likes you but doesn't want to commit. Don't waste your time if this is the case and find a proper relationship. Not one 'with benefits' as there don't seem to be any benefits in this relationship !

[smurfchops]

How old are you? You sound very young and naive.

[EcclesCake]

FWB can work well depending on the emotional maturity of each party.

I suspect in this case Briana and her friend are not sufficiently mature to cope.

[starone]

I cannot imagine sex without caring for someone, or if you like, a loving relationship, but then I am (sigh) old!!

[woofgang]

Me too starbuck

[mccfluff]

how do you get into his house?

[AlwaysConfused]

You have accepted this situation, deal with it

[RiskyBiscuit]

Sex without love is like a chocolate hobnob without the chocolate! ;p

[magsmay]

Friends with Benefits (FWB) seems to be a Transatlantic thing and looking at the time you posted maybe you are not from the UK. FWB is casual sex - by definition you can't have a FWB 'relationship because there is no 'relationship' Two things to ask yourself
1) Do I want an exclusive sexual relationship with this guy?
2) Does this guy want an exclusive sexual relationship with me?
Only you can answer the first one -the second one he has already answered quote
// He has said multiple times he doesn't want a relationship// .
Could it be you are now wanting to take your relationship to the next level and are desperately looking for signs that he does too? IF you a scared to ask him, is it more than likely you are more scared of his answer?

[magsmay]

@riskybiscuit - chocolate hobnobs without the chocolate or the hob ;-)

[Booldawg]

lol mcfluff - ever the pragmatist!

[Briana_grant]

@ ummmm We text everyday, I see him on the weekend, and I'm 21. I only see him on the weekend because i have work Monday-Friday.
@ mccfluff I get a ride from one of his roommates their and i hang out with them until he gets home.