What Help Is There?

[Misky]

My friend's dad has been diagnosed with terminal cancer; it's in his bones and they don't yet know how bad he'll be or how long he might have left (hopefully not too bad, and he'll be here for a long time, obviously!). However, he looks after his wife, my friend's mam, on a day to day basis - she is blind, wheelchair-bound and has lung failure and is on oxygen. My friend cannot do as much as she would like, as she has two autistic children who need their routines. Her husband works. I've suggested MacMillan to her as they helped with my sister-in-law's needs. Will they help her contact Social Services, or should she do that herself do you think? It's all a bit in the air at the minute, as the diagnosis was yesterday but I don't want her to miss out on any help she can get....

[emmie]

try Macmillan cancer care, good place to start, good luck.

[mrs_overall]

What a sad story.
I would urge her to contact the hospital social worker as well as Macmillan

[LazyGun]

It is a sad story - must be very tough for your friend and her parents. Definitely McMillan nurses, and their GP etc. I am slightly surprised your friends parents are not already getting some help from social services, but that needs following up sooner rather than later...

[Misky]

I never thought about the GP, he might know someone else who can help too. I didn't know there was a Hospital Social Worker, none has been offered or mentioned! I had already given her the contact for local MacMillan and said if they don't contact Social Services she should. They're old-fashioned people who have never asked for help before, but I'm sure once it's in place they'll appreciate it. Thanks everyone X

[mrs_overall]

Misky, each hospital has several social workers who are each responsible for different departments (such as renal, geriatric etc). They will have bang up to date information on what help is available

[ummmm]

Yes, social services first.

When someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness the benefits system is much easier.

[Misky]

Thanks Mrs. O - I'll defo mention it to her. Her dad's back at the Hospital in the next day or so so she can ask the nurses in the department.

[Misky]

Thanks ummmm. They'll take some persuading, but my friend will talk them round.

[mrs_overall]

Another thing = benefits (such as DLA) are easily and quickly obtained for terminally ill cancer patients under the special rules system. Have a look at this link.

http://www.patient.co.uk/health/Benefits-for-the-Terminally-Ill.htm

[THECORBYLOON]

If the diagnosis is six months or less, even if it turns out to be longer, Attendance Allowance (if aged or older) or Disability Living Allowance (if younger) can be claimed under Special Rules.

[MadMen]

The situation sounds horrible :-(
When my sister had cancer, she was given all the help and advice about this kind of thing from her "cancer nurse"? I think that's what she was called. Anyway, it was the person at the hospital that dealt with her on a daily basis. I would also suggest Macmillan, but do speak with the hospital nurses that are dealing with your friends father.

Have a look on the Macmillan website, as there is loads of information on there. Things like help with financial support, carers, and bereavement. I know your friend won't want to think about that just yet, but as a friend who quite obviously cares a great deal, maybe you could have a look at it to help you support your friend.

http://www.macmillan.org.uk/Home.aspx

Best wishes x

[THECORBYLOON]

AA is for folk aged 65 or older.

[Misky]

I've passed that link on - thank you.
I knew this was the best place to ask. X

[THECORBYLOON]

A claim for Carer's Allowance by someone providing at least 35 hours' care per week can be made at the same time.

[naomi24]

Like Lazygun, I'm also surprised they aren't getting help from Social Services. You haven't said whether he is currently in hospital, but the GP surgery/hospital should put the wheels in motion anyway with the care they need from Macmillan, etc., so speak to them right away. Also, Age UK are useful people to have on board. They are in contact with all sorts of organisations who might be able to help out.

[Misky]

No, he's not in Hospital at the moment. He was diagnosed with prostate cancer a few weeks ago and they warned it might have spread because it had been missed in several blood tests. He had the results of the biopsy on Monday afternoon, when they gave him the news that it was in his bones. It's still very raw, early days and all that. At least my friend will now know who to ask for what. Thanks X

[naomi24]

Ahhh. Poor man. It's a hard time. Talk to everyone and get all the help you can. Much love. x

[ummmm]

We moan about the benefits system but when someone is really ill they are worth their weight in gold. They are very understanding and very supportive, in my experience.

[LazyGun]

Uuuuum said "We moan about the benefits system but when someone is really ill they are worth their weight in gold. They are very understanding and very supportive, in my experience"

Never a truer word..................

[Misky]

Also, we moan about the NHS, but once someone has been diagnosed with cancer the care is amazing.