Friends....

[floss85]

This may sounds really shallow but as long as you're happy within yourself, do you really need friends??!! This may sound a really silly thing to say (I have many friends) but in the last few days, two of my best friends have let me down BIG time to the point that it makes me wonder why I put some much effort in with them.

I dont want to sound bitter but I cant be bothered to help other people or do them favours coz it has been thrown back in my face!

[floss85]

Thats the thing though! I am ALWAYS there for my friends. Staying up till all hours of the morning listening to them moan about their waste of space boyfriends. I rarely subject them to my problems! The one time I do - I get nothing!

Thanks for that though Andy! Another good piece od sound advice!

[Robinia]

Yes I think everyone needs friends but I do know how you feel floss 'cos I've felt like that too.  It seems sometimes that I'm here for them to unload their problems & I don't mind at all & if I can do anything practical I will.  However, like you, I've felt let down & hurt & I've gone off & thought 'pah! I don't need them', but as andy says the feeling passes.  I'm sure that usually our friends don't let us down intentionally & I don't think I'm very good at asking for help anyway.  I tend to be very casual as if my request isn't important & as they aren't psychic they don't realise that it probably is! 

I don't think I've expressed this too well, but I hope you can make some sense of it. I'm very tired this morning - I think I need help!!

[floss85]

Thanks for that guys!

Think I have Tuesday morning blues!

Just needed someone to rant to!

x

[lizzierose]

I don't reckon you need them really. my brother is a lovely chap but he's very quiet and doesn't really have any friends. he's married but just doesn't hunker after a huge social circle at all. went out with a group of people who were supposedly my friends the other night who i haven't seen for ages and discovered that they're really not my friends at all. just a bunch of sycophantic egotists. I certainly dont' need them. am not in the best mood this morning. i have other friends who are absolutely lovely. there great to spend time with but oh i don't know. i'm disillusioned with the whole world :( 

[floss85]

Thanks Andy, There should definately be a 5 star rating for your answers!

Thanks to you aswell Lizzie.

I'm feeling a bit better now (well no longer have monday morning blues!)

My 'friends' have gone on holiday now so It'll give me a week to feel better about it all!

xxx

[jean88]

Good, trusty friends are hard to come by, you dont need lots of friends but you would be really lucky to have one good friend. People are too selfish now-a-days, have to be careful who you be friends with, a lot of people have a motives and may be using you.

[sarah charah]

This happens all the time, its more likely that u r a bit lonely at the mo, and so u think about all the things u do for ur mates and u cant rememba nefin they have done for u wen they probly have done loads. Course u need friends dont be silly, who wud u go out with? who wud u tell juicy goss to? who wud u ring up for a cry?!! My friends r so important to me, ur always gona have disagreemants but at the end of the day did they really sit together and think rite how can we hurt her feelings now mwa hahaha no#! probly not so forgive n forget look who uv come whining too now

[kazzee69]

The question I would ask is 'Is there anyone happy enough that they don't need friends?' I personally couldn't live without my friends. I have a boyfriend who I have been with for years and I stil try and make time for my friends. I understand how angry you must feel being let down like this and I have had it happen to me but the lesson it taught me is the ones that don't let you down (without very good cause) are the true friends.

[kazzee69]

continued -  Also both of my best mates are pregnant now and the babies will be due within a week of each other and I have been doing so much for my friends to help them with this (one of them has a longterm partner) and I feel like I haven't done enough even though they are so grateful and it makes me sad that my friend (the one without a partner) lives about 4 hours away and I can't get to her if she needs me.

[jno]

floss, it could just be that your friends don't know how to help you. As andy said, they're used to coming to you with their problems and you're used to listening and giving advice because you've done it with them before and know how they'll take it. But because they've not heard your problems before, they're surprised to hear you have any and at a loss to know what you should do about it. I could be wrong, they could just be jerks, but it may also be they're not so much selfish as confused and unable to help.

[Oneness]

Life is a constant struggle between "Me" and ":you". If you enter in to any kind of relationship you must be willing to accept bolth the positive and the negative.  if there is one thing that I have learned is that to exist in this reality of polarity and duality you have to accept and appreciate all of the aspects of life. NOT JUST POSITIVE!  A balance is what I think we need to keep in mind.

  I have been on bolth sides of your situation and I think the best thing to do is to let your friends know how they made you feel and not to hold those feelings in.  If you are able to over come your differences with each other, and feel that the other is making an effort to live and grow with you as human being, than I think you should give them a nother .  Which is something that we should never forgett.  We are human and we all make mistakes. It's part of being here. So forgive your self and forgive your friends because if you don't, your problems will just kep coming back..  The World is only a mirror,  showing youthe truth of  what you have braught in front it.  Hope everything goes well for you; )