husbands roving eye!

[bertie21]

This may sound daft but it is really getting me down, whenever i am out with my husband he constantly looks at other women. At this time of the year it is very tiring seeing him check out anything with a pulse. When i tell him i don't like it he says it is no different than appreciating a beautiful painting and that i shouldn't keep going on!! Do all men do this, if so how do other women cope?

[BigDogsWang]

I've noticed my wife looking at other men, as she's crap at hiding it.

I've got the 'looking at other women without giving the game away' down to a fine art.

If both men and women never looked at members of the opposite sex when married, they are not normal human beings.

[bertie21]

I have enjoyed reading all your answers, some have made me giggle, ie the water-pistol (i'm giving that serious thought!) and I was very interested in the mens point of view. Thanks everyone for making me feel better - and less neurotic !!   xxx

[gingerflaps]

no i think its down right rude to do it in front of you, granted every man AND women look but me and my bf never look in front of each other, its just disrespectful and something that will surely cause an argument.

[jno]

yes, while I said that's it hard for people to change instinctive reactions, it is also true that behaviour modification can be achieved by swift use of water pistols, cattle prods etc bertie, or if sterner measures seem warranted frying pans or baseball bats might help. Go for it - he is being insensitive.

[twiglet4frog]

doing it on the sly when they arent seeing is also viewed as dishonest in some relationships and sometimes a male or female that feels that they have to do it in secret tend to feel trapped and constrained in their relationships and decide to do a lot more than look in secret cos lets face it, if they dont know about us looking, will they know about a quick kiss or cuddle etc. Sometimes it is better the devil u know. Start to worry if he is deliberatly trying to not look at a nice girl, chances are he is then feeling guilty about something and it has something to do with the opposite sex!

[kazzee69]

I must say he sounds like a sad old man. Everyone looks.. this is true.. its instinct but he is being so blatant about it. He should be a bit more considerate to your feelings. If I was you I'd start staring at guys in this blatant way and let him know '2 can play his game'.  My boyfriend swears blind he doesn't look but I've seem him do it. I always laugh and let him know I've noticed but then he does the whole 'what, what, I didn't do anything' speech. Apparently one of the first things a woman looks at is a man crotch.. I wasn't so sure about this but then I started thinking... how many times do you notice a mans flies are undone??

[metagirl]

Men will always look - but ogling is tacky. My husband notices every breast larger than an A cup - and feels the need to inform me as well - "Hey look, did you see that woman with the big boobs?!" - which can get annoying sometimes. But he is not really obvious - more like a 13 yr old trapped in a bald man's body.

Once I guilt tripped him by saying that every time a woman notices him staring at her she thinks, "Look at that lecherous man and his poor, suffering wife walking there next to him. What a shame..."

Unfortunately you can't get men to stop looking, but you can 1) have fun with it - and get back at him or 2) make him understand that it makes you uncomfortable and can he please be less obvious   - if he truly loves and respects you he should learn to keep the cartoon eyes in place. 

[flipflop104]

@ Gingerflaps.� If you think you're bf isn't looking when he's with you then you are being niave (sorry - don't mean to be disrespectful).He will have fine tuned�the art of looking without you noticing ;o)

[Alcazar13]

Yes but I am a petite brunette, with large boobs and hips, and a tiny, tiny waist and I get soooooo fed up with guys looking at me.  I try to disguise my femininity, yet guys just don't care.  I feel guilty when guys give me the up and down when they are with their partners.  I look away and try to get outta there.  Guys constantly oggle my boobs, so I just stare at their crotch on purpose.  So perhaps that is why women stare at crotches, because they are trying to make a point!  Have men any idea how they make us women feel? like a piece of meat! So men just STOP being so damn obvious, and let women get on with their lives, and let wives be content that their husbands are not raving sex maniacs (even if they are getting plenty at home, they STILL do it)!

[Lolliemma]

I agree with flip flop me and my husband make a game out of it .... oh shes nice like her tits....oh hes nice got a firm bum........ shes a minger wouldnt go near her with a barge pole............hes an ugly git ........ etc etc if you both do it and do it together it makes it fun and harmless. I have taken this 1 step further if my husband and I see a really ugly girl or really old woman I say heres your wife u better not let her see u with me she will go ape!! and he does the same if we see an old tramp or ugly bloke, we both end up in fits of laughter, we now look out for the really ugly ones just to see who can get the worst ones lol

this is really terrible i know but it has sort of made a joke out of looking at other people which we both do, and is totally harmless unless u start to touch aswell!!

[Brinjal]

Unfortunately a lot of men do this in the company of their wives/partners.    All me look and so do women but it is the respect thing about making  big deal about iit in front of your partner.   My hubby tends to be like that especilly as he has gotten older an he is 11 years older than me so if it gets relly irritating I have a wealth of age/ weight /wrinkles quips that put him in his place.   Foe my age I measure up to anything he looks at and will tell him 'Yess thats why you married me I looked like that  and still do.  What happened to you?