News0 min ago
Seizure?
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i have been abusing pain killers and recently been taking dihydrocodine instead of cocodamol because the effects last longer. i fell to the floor and although i was conscious i was skirming about on the floor and frothing and spitting. it went on for 5 mins and it was wierd, i wasnt in pain but mentally i felt like i was and kept wriggling about - was this a partial seizure? or am i just so head wonderfully fluffed from depression that it was just an 'episode?'
im a bit concerned because i had a fit when i abused tramadol about 4 years ago, is it worth going to hosp or the doctors?
im a bit concerned because i had a fit when i abused tramadol about 4 years ago, is it worth going to hosp or the doctors?
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anyway yeah i told dr ages ago about addiction, they told me its a bsd idea liver kidney damage and so on, gave me citralopam. but i told them i needed something to knock me out. essentially i want to be as good as a zombie! citralopam works, but in all the wrong ways. it makes me feel motivated... but motivated to do what?!
painkillers put me down. i can zone out doing nothing, feeling like im being cuddled whilst the chemicals pumping through my veins whisper... "everythings going to okay..."
anyway yeah i told dr ages ago about addiction, they told me its a bsd idea liver kidney damage and so on, gave me citralopam. but i told them i needed something to knock me out. essentially i want to be as good as a zombie! citralopam works, but in all the wrong ways. it makes me feel motivated... but motivated to do what?!
painkillers put me down. i can zone out doing nothing, feeling like im being cuddled whilst the chemicals pumping through my veins whisper... "everythings going to okay..."
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lol counilling?! hehe that was a joke! dr gave me a number to a local service thing, so i rang them, and spoke to some arsey guy who sounded like he really couldnt be bothered, then some woman rang back 'confirmed' details and that was it. not a letter, not another call.
although in fairness I hate being awake during the day time, too much light too many people, so my unsociable hours alive dont really help! i went outside to the shop for like the first time in 5 days and wow, am i pale as hell! plus i kept my phone switched off because i dont want people to contact me, so its primarily my own fault - oh, just like everything else thats wrong with me ;) hehe i am such a special little boy!
although in fairness I hate being awake during the day time, too much light too many people, so my unsociable hours alive dont really help! i went outside to the shop for like the first time in 5 days and wow, am i pale as hell! plus i kept my phone switched off because i dont want people to contact me, so its primarily my own fault - oh, just like everything else thats wrong with me ;) hehe i am such a special little boy!
special for now, not so special when you're in a coma in hospital or lying in a frideg in the hospital morgue, then you'll just be dead. You need serious help seriously soon and you need to take it seriously. The people you need to help you when you finally get into the right support programme will not judge you or blame you for your problem they will help you make some important decisions and help you plan your way out of this place you've gone down into.
you really think its that bad? really? i felt wierd when it happened, i feel fine now, although thats probably cuz the pills have kicked in now, so apart from my stomach hurting for the obvious reason, i feel fine. i really domt know if i want the attention, i mean, i cant honestly see me dying from
this, not yet anyway.
then again... part of me wants to die, so... i should do a 'ricardo lopez' and document my downfall! minus the bjork obsession and racism of course, and the whole blowing my brains out thing, don't really fancy that!
this, not yet anyway.
then again... part of me wants to die, so... i should do a 'ricardo lopez' and document my downfall! minus the bjork obsession and racism of course, and the whole blowing my brains out thing, don't really fancy that!
I've known someone to have a seizure which has starved the brain of oxygen. He is alive and kicking, but only just. He's now a vegetable. That would not be a fun way to live your life, Danny. He now lives in a home, being spoonfed. Doesn't get to see his daughter, as the situation upsets her too much. Go see a doctor and then save some pennies and have a nice holiday in the sun. You'll realise what you've been missing x It's amazing what a holiday can do!