What is he playing at?

[Hedkandi]

Hi everyone,

I would like a bit of advice/help please.

Basically I've been friends with this guy for 4 years at work. I did fancy him to begin with and thought he felt the same way, as I was picking up signals from him and everyone else saw it too. I told him how I felt but he said he didn't feel that way about me. Anyway, we fell out afterwards as he started being a bit weird with me, but we managed to make it up in the end. We've been good friends ever since and I don't fancy him anymore.

Anyway, I left my last dept he was in too about 6 months ago and transferred to another dept. He was seeing someone but when they broke up the 1st time, I was a shoulder to cry on for him, but when I was going through some stuff myself, i felt he wasn't giving me the full support that i needed at the time. Then they got back together, but split up again about a couple of months ago. Ever since him and his girlfriend split up, he's been pestering me every day - keeps emailing me all the time about what he's up to, and now he's started calling me, telling me all about his problems. The thing is, when he asks me how i am and I try to talk to him about what's going on in my life, i either can't get a word in edgeways as he turns the conversation back to himself, or is really unresponsive towards me, unless its something to do with him.

I've tried backing off from him, but it makes him worse. I feel like his daily journal/sounding board/agony aunt, and its at work too! I feel like he's just using me as a daily journal/sounding board/agony aunt, but when i try to suggest meeting up with him outside work to talk about it, he always busy.

Is he treating me like a mug? How do i deal with this? I just wish he'd back off and be a bit more "give and take", instead of take!

Any advice/help greatly appreciated.

Thanks

XX

[nfn]

Have you tried to explain how you feel? Maybe you could show him your question, you don't have to tell him it's yours.
Alternatively why not try saying 'I'm busy/dying for the toilet/about to go out, I'll call you back'. Don't call back immediately and if he phones you don't answer. Leave it a few hours/days then reply. Don't be at his beck and call.

[charliep88]

same as kazzee

[dmsjps]

He wants you for a mug, don't take it. You don't need him, you don't fancy him - or maybe you do still a little bit, which is why you're taking so much c*** off him, but not like you did - so ditch him. Let him find someone else to use. Friendship cuts both ways and he's not interested in your side of it. Bail out.

[the>one]

f*ck him he'sa fool, i'll be in the 'chatterbank arms' on sat night, hopefully see you there! 

[Bob A Job]

Why dont you sleep with him?

Its the best way to get a man to never call you again!!!!!! LOL