Bullying

[DJHawkes]

I guess the memories of being bullied as a kid never leave. when I was 11/12 there was a girl in the 5th form that lived not far from us and for some reason she started calling me names in school if she saw me. it's quite hazy now but before she left school there was a bad few weeks where it got very nasty for me, though I can only remember vague stuff.

well yesterday I spotted her on a Facebook group I use that is linked to my school and to be honest it was really odd to see her face, now in her 60s and read her so sweet and friendly comments, all I wanted to do was add a post telling everyone what a vile nasty bully she was in her youth! but I didn't. it,s upset me though, she looks so smug and pleasant,

[cab53]

Glad you didn't

[dizmouk2009]

DJHawkes: I can relate to your post. I used to get bullied by a large number of people. At one point the police were involved. I would love to go around and smash some heads but it wouldn't change the past.

[tiggerblue10]

She must have grown up in the mentality department, Dot.

[DJHawkes]

it's something you never forget, there was no reason for it, her and her mates would shout, 'country bumpkin' at me in school or on the way home, I lived on a farm about half a mile from her house, she was fat and ugly and I was tall and blonde, maybe she was jealous lol, my sister dated her brother for w while and years later he used to come into the record shop where I worked and he was lovely.

[Scarlett]

I know how you feel. I often wondered what I would say if I bumped into the horrible girls from my school. To be honest, I think I would have to say something. I don't see any harm in it- you've been carrying the burden all this time, and they have got away without realising how horrid they made your life for a time. You could forgive and forget, but I think I would want to get some sort of closure from it.

[cab53]

Found a quote.

Far off, men(women) swell, bully and threaten; bring them hand to hand and they are feeble folk

[Purple_Popple]

Im with you on this one DJHawkes, I was bullied badly by a group of 5 girls throughout senior school, then suddenly a couple of years ago they start to come out of the woodwork and tried adding me as a 'friend' on Facebook, what the heck ??? Do they not remember how they made it hell for me at school ? Two face hypocrites, like forgive and forget, but no way I made my feelings plain to them for sure and blocked them. LOL....stupid silly creatures. I met one of them at a school reunion a few years back and she was always the bees knees at school, now she looks at least 60 must weigh around 25 stone! She looked like the back end of a tram smash. Karma. Love it.

[saxy_jag]

Same here. Louise (no, I'm not afraid to name her) managed systematically to turn just about every girl in my year against me, with the exception of my three best friends who remain so to this day. I saw a picture of her on Facebook recently. It's nice to know she's overweight, 'old' and still has a long, wonky, witch's nose. I, on the other hand, still get comments from people who genuinely believe that I'm not old enough to have 30-year-old kids.

My mum-in-law used to say "what comes around, goes around". We used to groan whenever she said it, but boy does it ring true.

[Huderon]

People change.

When my oldest lass was at primary school, one of the girls in her class started verbally bullying her. We told our lass that if it happened again, she should walk away. If the girl followed her and continued, walk away again. If the girl still followed her, turn around and say, in front of her friends, "If you don't like me that much, why are you following me around ?". The bullying stopped.

A few years later I was at a parent's evening at the secondary school, without my daughter in tow. I got chatting to one of the other girls, who said she really admired my daughter for her ability to get her head down and concentrate on the work when others on the class were being rowdy.

When I told my daughter this, her reaction was "But she was my worst enemy at primary school".

[Mosaic]

I don't believe that bullies change. They go underground and choose new targets. I have known many 'sweet older ladies' who were actually vicious bullies once they had supporters, a target and an opportunity.

[DJHawkes]

I've had a nosy at the webpage for the company she works for and she is the head of he and it lists bullying in the workplace as one of the seminars she offers, what a two faced cow! if they only knew!

[tonyav]

you should let them know, dot !.

[Fusion5]

I would be tempted to leave her a message on her FB page, keeping it polite, but just reminding her of school days.

Bullies never change, they are jealous and have no scruples who they hurt.

[bednobs]

i'm not sure exactly how old you are DJ, but i would guess you are talking about something that happened 50 years ago. I doubt she even remembers, and would be very surprised to learn you still think about it now. People of course do change in 50 years - life and experiences shape them in unexpected ways

[giveup]

Agree with Tony.

[Fusion5]

Sorry bednobs I don't agree, it doesn't matter how old you are, being bullied as a child never goes away, it can make you a stronger person, but you never forget. I have seen bullies in school and also in the work place and even on this site. I don't believe they change, however old they are.

[bednobs]

are you the same person you were when you were 15? Are you saying that life experiences don't change you at all?
i don't know where you got it from that i think that you can "get over" being bullied, or that it's easy to forget

[Purple_Popple]

Have you ever been bullied Bednobs?

[sherrardk]

As adults, we can try to understand why some people behave the way they do. Some children have stuff going on that other children have no idea about (nor should they). I am not excusing bullies, but as adults we can try to understand why some people act the way they do, as children we can't.

[Canary42]

Isn't wreaking vengeance just another from of bullying ?