Advice On Being A Parent

[meglet]

What's the best advise you could someone as a new parent? Or what advice were you given and ignored, but wished you hadn't?

I'm a new mum but curious to hear your advise for raising kids (of any age, maybe I'll bank some ideas for the future!).

[roopower]

I'm sorry, my friend's daughter married a German - don't know where Sherman came from!

[shaneystar2]

Sorry meglet ...I have no idea why I called you hellywelly ....Senior moment ..very senior ,senile in fact ..lol.

[anneasquith]

13 weeks already, if she is such a happy baby id say whatever you are doing its working,,,,,,,,one piece of advice, routine, children like routine,

[meglet]

We're pretty relaxed parents so far but that's probably as we have attended her every needs whenever she asks for it! We are starting on a routine now (maybe later than we should) which entails a bath and a wind down from 8.00. She wasn't going down until 11.00 but was sleeping through until 6.00 so we didn't mind, it's not as if she was crying, she as happily gurgling away until she fell asleep. Now she's going down earlier though we are back to 4.00am feeds.

[meglet]

Time does pass quickly though. Half of me can't wait to see her develop and grow and the rest wants to keep her as a little baby for as long as possible.

[anneasquith]

awe, ive just seen your avatar,,,,,,,,,,,she is beautiful :o

[ChillDoubt]

Never pass up the opportunity to grab 40 winks when it arises. You can cope with all the stresses and strains if your'e getting a decent amount of kip.

[meglet]

Thanks Anne. Her cheeks need their own postcode!!

[pixie373]

She is adorable! I didn't see the avatar at first, as they come up small on my phone.

[leahbee]

What a beautiful baby meglet, you must be over the moon.

[soapnumpty]

It sounds like you're doing a great job. Getting your baby in to a good sleep routine I was say is important. Everything seems easier if you've had sleep. Someone told me that babies don't form habits until 3 months. Up until then our daughter wouldn't go to sleep until gone 9pm, and only on our laps. At 3 months we started the whole bath and bedtime routine, putting her in her cot at about 8.30. It took a few nights of crying and soon she could settle herself to sleep. Then we gradually brought her bedtime forward to a time we wanted. It's great to get your evenings back.

Don't worry about what people think. It's your baby and you decide how to raise it. You have to do what's right for you.

Enjoy the time and don't worry about the washing up or dusting. Just enjoy a cuddle.

[meglet]

We're lucky with her sleeping habits really as she loves her sleep. She was waking for a feed twice a night until about 5 weeks but it's only been once a night since then. I used to have a nap in the afternoon until 5 weeks but don't need it now as she wakes, eats and goes back down within about 10-15 mins. Over the Christmas period we would feed her at 8.00am or so and then all sleep in until 11.00. It was glorious!

[grasscarp]

Looking back I remember the peaceful and happy times when we dozed, walked or played together. I dont remember if house was particularly clean or tidy. Wonderful times. Going through the happiness of having grandchildren now. Hope you have a great time with your baby Meglet.

[FredPuli43]

"Never break a promise, always carry out a threat!" (what an old parent told me) Yes must always mean yes, and no always mean no. Children need security; a parent who vacillates ,or isn't consistent, doesn't give them that.

My partner says "Forget the housework!"

[mrs_overall]

Congratulations meglet, she looks good enough to eat.

My advice would be to always go with your instincts, and ignore anyone who tells you that you MUST do something a certain way.
When the baby goes to sleep, use the opportunity to catch up on your own sleep or have a nice relaxing bath and pamper session.

One thing I did with all mine was make a baby box. These contain a selection of newspapers from the day they were born, the first item they ever wore, their hospital name bands, their first proper pair of shoes, a photo album containing pics starting with their scan photos and ending with their first birthday, all the cards I received when they were born and a ton of other stuff.
The elder ones were given their boxes on their 18th birthdays

[mrs_overall]

I forgot to mention, with my daughter, I saved all her baby dresses and then made them into a quilt

[tamborine]

Wow thats an adorable babe. My advice is 'she needs her mum & dad' so give dad lone bonding time while youre away shopping.

[atalanta]

1) Love
2) Patience
3) Boundaries

Sometimes if a child is fretful, especially at night, I find all you need to do is to say "Mummy loves you" as you give them yet another kiss
Patience - just learn that if a situation is inevitably going to endure or get worse before it gets better, take a deep breath and find a way to carry on.
Boundaries - a child must not be totally indulged. You may get tired of the sound of your own voice saying "No" ( especially with boys ) but children must learn that there have to be limits to their behaviour.

[Jenarry]

Giving plenty of love of course but being firm when you need to. You will soon (or when they reach toddler age ) find you develop a no nonsense mummy tone of voice. You will need this.
Also from when baby is little always put them down to sleep on there own at every opportunity. I know someone who made the mistake of always leaving baby sleep on someones lap. This developed into not wanting to sleep on there own ever in their own cot and later their own bed or bedroom and is still a problem today at nearly 8 years old.
I loved the moses basket myself. I would put my little mattie down when he was napping and make a cuppa,do some jobs, or just relax myself.
I also know people who's lives revolve around the children 24/7.
Once you feel comfortable with it I would highly recommend having an occasional evening out to see friends or a meal out with your partner. I used to do this from quite an early age with my son. he would stay with my parents. they loved it, my son had loads of fuss and loved it and I enjoyed the breather.

[=rizla=]

As has been said, use baby sleeping time during the day to sleep yourself.

Ignore when others say their babys can do, its not a race, (a friend told me his baby slept thought the night from 7 till 7, i thought, wow thats great at his age much better that ours was doing at a similar age, but then he added he only has a feed at 12 and 4!!!)

A book that was recommended to us, and the only one we've used is 'toddler taming' by christopher green, one subject he talked about was 'pick your battles' ie dont worry/dig your heals in over small unimportant things, keep your worrys/heals for the important stuff to be honest a great philosophy for life in general.