Sex life declining

[ggl]

Ive only been married 3 months and my sexlife is already changing. Its gone from 8 times a week to none in the last 2 weeks. Hes dying for sex but im just not in the mood. Im not in the mood for it like i used to be, and I just dont see the passion in our sex life anymore. My husband is the best man in the world anything you can think of romantic, funny, sweet, caring, compassionate, understanding and supportive. He is always in the mood for sex and i turn him on so bad, however im not really turned on by him even though i love him with all my heart. Hes not as experienced as i am(i am older than he is). What can this be that im going through and should i have sex with him even when im not in the mood. We said were going to look into different types of sex like tantra see if that helps. The other day he told me that he would never leave me even if theres no sex life between us. I dont want that to happen, I used to be a very sexual person. HELP please!!!!!!

[johnny5]

as you say you are his wife therefore it is your duty to please him and keep him happy so get on with it woman it's girls like you that realy hack me off typical woman ( whats the difference between a girlfriend and a wife ? ans.A. about two stones. ans B blowjo*s  ans C a mother in law. ans D all of the above

[the>one]

ditto johnny ditto!!!!, ya got the man now  look after him!!!

[mycatis]

Aw come on guys, this poor woman is upset and asking for help, might have known it would be you two! :)  Anyway ggl, I've been here ,my ex and I were perfect for each other except I suddenly didnt want to have sex anymore if you had told me at the time that I would never have sex again I wouldn't have cared, he was great about it for months, poor ******. You could try having dates and romantic evenings where you decide before hand that there wont be any sex then you can relax and cuddle and stuff without feeling like you're leading him on. Talk to your doctor, have you maybe changed your contraception lately, or are you stressed about something else? I'm sure loads of women will have a go at me for this but I did sometimes have sex when I didnt really feel like it, it was always good once I got into it it was just the thought of it. Do you still want to kiss and stuff? personally I think you're in more trouble if the kissing stops rather than the sex. This probably hasn't been much help but at least you're not alone :) sorry to ramble on, but my sex drive came back when I stopped worrying about it  Good luck

[jno]

yes, a couple of really helpful answers there ggl. Usually you'd say questions of sexual compatibility need to be sorted out by two people together but in this case it seems to be just you who's changed, and quite suddenly. Could it be something to do with marriage itself? Were you expecting the world to change and it didn't quite? Suddenly having niggling doubts? (Not about your man, you seem to be happy about him, but about the prospect that it's forever, all your other avenues are closed off.) Any other obvious stress points that might be holding you back - work, accommodation worries, longer-term plans?

I think mycatis is right about not worrying - letting guilt get on top of you will just make it worse. But it's hard not to worry, of course. Can you cast your memory back to the way it was before, remember what you felt then, maybe identify what's changed? I think you could do worse than have sex when you're not in the mood - everybody does things from time to time that they don't really want to; it's not the end of the world, it's something you can do for him if not for yourself, and you may even find you can relax and enjoy it.

Guess I'm rambling on a bit too - and if you really can't sort it out yourself, more professional counselling might help. But the fact that you love each other and want to make it work is a great start. Good luck.

[mouse53]

Hi ggl,  being on the other side of this is frustrating too.  My wife of 5 years suddenly stopped wanting to make love.  she said I was good and all,  just not interested.  Much as I wanted her to do it anyway,  I didn't want to unless it was for her too.  Has to mutual or why bother?  Now I don't know your age,  but wife is ( now ex- wife ) 46 and began hotflashes about 6-7 months ago. After awhile things just got progressively worse.  I  have been through menopause before,  so I kind of know what to expect,  but this one got mean.  Now I am rambling.  Sometimes it isn't as easy as just do it anyway.