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honesty please!

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mixture | 20:14 Mon 15th Aug 2005 | Body & Soul
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Has anyone been in a relationship with someone who has a gf or bf? Were you in love? What happened?

Also, has anyone been in a relationship with someone while having a gf or bf? Were you in love? What was on you're mind? and what happened?

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Yes I currently am, and its been going on for a year now. I'm not naive enough to believe he'll ever leave her, as he's to weak! But he has told me he loves me, and I think I feel the same. I know I'll end up getting hurt, but its difficult to end it as we work together and spend most of our time together.

But to be honest, I've only got myself to blame if I do get hurt, because I was well aware that he had a girlfriend, but I just liked him so much. His girlfriend does know about us, but doesn't seem to want to let him go....its a bizarre situation.

In fact to most people who know us, they think we are a couple, the only problem being that he lives with his girlfriend and is in so much money problems that he can't afford to move out. And she is refusing to buy him out....arghhhh!!

ive been there. i was in a relationship with a married man once who said he would never leave his wife and i spent every day hoping that he would. men arent like women. they dont think the same and will ride rough shod over your feelings. my ex told me he loved me and i put up with it for eight years and had a child with him to prove my love and he left us when my daughter was 8 weeks old out of duty to himself. i still think the world of him unbelieveably because he gave me my daughter, but apart from that i now understand that he was just selfish and he doesnt want to know his daughter now who is 2. and he told me he wanted more children! glad im out of it! but it was a long time ago!
as for londongirl, please do yourself a favour and get out and find someone who cherishes you for what you are. you deserve someone who loves you for you and not because they can have their cake and eat it! he only has this effect because you let him! we are only treated the way we let ourselves be and you deserve a true and honest man. every woman loves a ******* i was once told and i agree to some extent but if we allow ourselves to be treated like it we will be. my last answer was an affair i had years ago but i got my deserve! my partner of 10 years has cheated on me recently and im trying to get over it with his children! what goes around comes around honestly. for your own sake you deserve better,. sorry if i seem harsh londongirl but you have to get out of it, am here if you need a friend! xxx

I had a relationship with a married man and was under no illusions. He did however, leave his wife shortly after meeting me. He didn't leave her for me, but I think it made it easier on him having somebody to run to. I was in lust with him, but not in love. We had a fantastic relationship although very shortlived as I ended it after 6 months.

It's fair to say that you can't have any expectations from your partner if they are already in a relationship, unless of course they have lied to you!

But then nothing in life is guaranteed. Even if you meet somebody who is single it doesn't mean that things will work out, don't you agree?

I recently left my boyfriend for another man. I'm mad about him. The relationship I had with my boyfriend was the pin-up, textbook perfect relationship, but I had feelings for this other guy, its a horrid gamble and I don't know if it will pay off. I just hope I feel about him the way I thnk I do/thought I did. Incidently I was seeing him whilst finding a good time to break up with my boyfriend. The whole thing was tinged with guilt and I feel awful for breaking up with him.

 

I did the open-relationship thing when I was younger when I thought body and mind and thier needs were seperate. I wish they damn well were. It's interesting what's been said about the whole male/female thing, however, there are alot of men out there who didn't like the idea of an open relationship at all.

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Thanks for your stories! There's so many other stuff I want to know about this relationship thing for it is really complicated, but for the one's who are (were) in love with someone who already has a partner I'd like to ask;

Did you act towards that person as if he (she) was your gf, bf? Or did you try to control yourself not to act like that because you knew he(she) wasn't yours?

 

and for the one's being with someone while having someone;

How did you feel when the person you were having an affair with acted as if he(she) was your gf, bf? Were you annoyed? Or were you glad? 

I acted as if they were both my bfs. One had certain aspects of a relationship and the other had some different ones. It was like I was in two seperate spheres that didn't really overlap. I think if they shared the same qualities things would have been different. 

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