Is It All A Bit Futile

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its been just over a year since I went through what might be described as a bit of existential angst. Ending up in a psychiatric hospital after a year of hell with the justice and mental health system. (see previous posts).
However now, a year later, I find myself back where I started with the same old problems, exactly the same scenarios playing out, the same sh#t, different day stuff happening that put me in a psych ward (police cells, courts, accident unit etc) to start with. Once all my court/police/mental health stuff was done with I thought things might be different. I was wrong.
To those who arnt familiar with previous posts please ignore this....I dont need know alls commentating at this moment. To others who have been a massive help in the past, I appreciate ur comments.
Im just finding life a bit futile at the moment and really dont know if I want to carry on. I struggled this past year trying to live a life but inside im dying.

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Thank you ladyalex and EDDIE.
Ive never been diagnosed with bipolar EDDIE just depression and anxiety issues.
My probation officer arranged for a psych nurse to attend my last probation app, but she didnt turn up but im not surprised, I was twice promised that a member of the criminal justice mental health team would attend my court appearences last year and they never showed up. My probation officer has said that they feel like they are banging their heads against a brick wall with the local mental health team regards other clients with issues.
Guess I'll muddle through somehow, I was just at a low ebb when I posted the other night. Appreciate everyones support here, thanks.