Am I Wrong?

[Rediven23]

Ok so my mom and my step dad have a very unhealthy relationship.And they drink a lot,my step dad is abusive to her and they never really talk to each other aside from when they drink. heres the problem they always get in fights when they drink and my mom always ends up upset and sometimes he hits her but rarely.she says under a lot of stress and she needs to unwind but always "unwinds" with him. instead of with her friends, me a my sister confronted her about it and she seemed very defensive , we asked her why she drinks with him when 99.9% of the time it ends up bad she acknowledged our comments but didn't really take them to heart she goes to her therapest and said she told her story (probably leaving out some parts) and she says therapist says we are wrong are we though is it so much to ask her to stop drinking with him?

[Cloverjo]

She must enjoy it in her own way. I'm sure she'd rather not get hit, but the whole scenario is a habit and feels comfortable. You say they don't talk except for when they are drinking. This way, at least they do talk a bit, even if it's abusively, and she gets attention of some kind.
I'm not defending your stepdad at all. He is behaving appallingly but if she lets him behave like that he will carry on. Perhaps you should be talking to him about it instead of your mum. Can you do that? How is he with you and your sister when he has been drinking and when he is sober?

[Old_Geezer]

Your mother is an adult and will make her own decisions. Not all of them wise. Your concern is admirable and not wrong as such but if you make your mother feel she is being told what to do by her kids she is likely to become defensive. One has to take a softly softly approach and ensure it expresses concern only. Nagging would drive a wedge between you. I don't think there is an easy answer. Stay on good terms with your mum and be there if she reaches a point when she decides things need to change and wants support.

[woofgang]

how old are you and your sister?

[whiskeryron]

When you say she goes to her Therapist this is unusual in the UK does this indicate that you are in the US ?

[ummmm]

The use of the word 'mom' would suggest that she's in the US.

[Rediven23]

Yeah i cant really talk my step dad about it he has bee diagnosed as a narcissist and any mention of him not being perfect come rants, rages and generally very unpleasant things. So i kind if ruled that out years ago
Im 13 my sister is 16
Yeah Im from the U.S. i made this account not knowing it was U.K. oriented

[woofgang]

Have you got a school or college counsellor you could talk to?