Dna Test

[glenbar]

I don't really think this is the correct place to ask this question but am asking as I hope Squad will see it and be kind enough to point me in the right direction. He always seems to talk sense and I like to read his replies to peoples questions. My problem is this: My ex is denying the parentage of his daughter and I know the truth so need to have a DNA test. I have looked on the internet, but who on earth do I trust. I have put this off for so long due to the cost but I now really don't care. Please does anyone have any experience of this? I am 73 and my daughter is 51 so it is not something to do with maintenance, simply a silly old fool who wants to make waves, but I simply cant stand the suspicion anymore. Thank you

[bednobs]

hi glenbar, the first thing you will need to consider is whether the dad will consent to giving a sample - he can't be compelled to i suppose!

[Sqad]

bednobs makes a crucial and valid point.

Do you really care that your ex denies parentage ...think about it first.

http://www.nhs.uk/chq/Pages/1017.aspx?CategoryID=61&SubCategoryID=615

Go to your GP to find out the nearest centre..........then think again.

This is not my field of expertise........

[Marijn]

I saw DNA test kits in a shop near me, called Home Bargains, here is a link to it. Apparently they retail at £99 usually but for some reason they are selling them for £5 at the moment. http://www.homebargains.co.uk/products/9528-alphabiolabs-dna-test-collection-kit-free-delivery.aspx

[murraymints]

I would not let the silly old fool rile you so...what does it matter now..you know the truth ..do not validate his nonsensical whimsies !

[Mamyalynne]

I'm strongly with MM - tell him it's hisproblem and loss not yours and he can think what he likes.


You and your daughter get on with enjoying your lives.

[jno]

if he's telling the world glenbar was unfaithful and her daughter is a ***, I can see glenbar would welcome the chance to clear it up.

[jno]

the asterisked word was just the standard one for an illegitimate child.

[Mamyalynne]

It is of course very personal and I could rise above the rumours and nudges, but I guess we aren't all built the same.


Good luck with what you decide Glenbar.

[Sqad]

.......and what if the DNA shows that he is NOT the father?

I agree with the girl's posts above.........leave well alone.

[jno]

lol, well, glenbar seems sure enough, sqad! Unless you think the angel of the lrod has been paying her a visit without telling her.

Anyway, if you feel bad about, issue a public challenge to him - let his friends know - you're willing to take the test if he'll do the needful... it might at least shut him up.

[anneasquith]

what does your daughter say ?

[ladyalex]

Try to rise above this, Glenbar.
If the fool is still trying to make trouble for you after 51 years, then there is something seriously wrong with him.
I suspect that a million DNA tests would not convince him either...he'd say you faked it in some way, somehow switched samples etc.
There is no need for you to prove anything, your word is good enough.

[Daffy6543]

I think it is down to the daughter to decide whether she wants to be tested, she is an adult and can't be compelled to take a test for this reason.

[glenbar]

Thank you to everyone who has helped me with this. I am truly grateful.

[glenbar]

Thank you Squad for your help.. I know beyond any doubt that he is her Father and the only reason I am now desperate is because he will have nothing to do with my Daughter and she is now looking to me with suspicion and knowing the truth I simply cannot bear it anymore. I must admit I was unaware it would need to involve him. I thought it could be done using the DNA from my eldest child. Once again thank you for your interest.

[ladyalex]

I think you need to have a word or two with your daughter.
It is not your fault that her father will have nothing to do with her. At her age that is between her and him.

[lcg]

you can certainly have dna tests of you and all your children to prove you are all related.....that can be proved 100%. but do you have to prove anything to your daughter? your word should be good enough for her! if he is being that much of a t w a t......then why do any of you want him in your lives? just ignore him and he might just go away. nobody has to prove anything too anyone who cares about them......dna or not. i had the same when my mother in law accused me of sleeping with my husbands brother. now nobody talks to the poisonous old witch, and that suits me just fine.

[pixie373]

Well, if he refuses to do the test, she'll have her answer, won't she?

[Marijn]

I think you can do the DNA test with just siblings, that can prove whether they are half-siblings or full siblings.