men!!!!!!

[jibberx]

any words of advice would be appreciated.

basically i am 20yrs old and was with my guy for 5 years till we split up 3 months ago... i'm now finally getting over him and enjoying the single life a bit... but recently i have met two guys.... one is 24, nice lad maybe a bit on the quiet side... not my usual type, the other is 29 divorced with 3 kids, but a real charmer

at the moment there is no commitment with either and i've just been going out for drinks etc with both of them which i know is wrong and i really dont know what to do.

[WendyS]

Why even think about getting seriously involved with somebody who's carrying  the emotional baggage of a divorce and 3 children when you're only 20 and have hardly begun to live yourself?   If your relationship with this individual develops to something serious you could be shackling yourself to a lifetime of family complications and a guy who will always have financial commitments elsewhere.   Enjoy your freedom.  Don't be too eager to jump into another permanent relationship yet.  Take time to discover yourself as an individual and don't think you have to make a choice between either of these two guys..   Your life has barely begun yet.

Honestly, the world will wait for you to discover the right person.

[stevie m]

Hi jibberx,

Please don't take this the wrong way.

I'm married with 3 kids, but if i were divorced then i'd love to meet a girl like you. Someone on the rebound trying to re-live a past relationship through me.

You see as a divorcee I have failed at one serious relationship, left any parental responsibility with my ex apart from maintenance(maybe), and you would be just another conquest as i'm now living the single life I probably didn't have before i got married. Once i'd got you i'd drop you as soon as another young free and single girl came along. Why? because i've done it several times before. I would even play the "my ex doesn`t understand me card" for sympathy, crass as it is. 

How do I know all of this, because i've a mate who fits the description you've given to a tee. A lovely bloke, but married young and is trying to make up for lost time, and how.

Like WendyS, I would suggest you live life to the full, and one day when you least expect it, the right person comes along. Until then give yourself a chance to enjoy yourself . One suggestion would be go on a decent vacation with some of your friends. LIVE LIFE  NOW.

[PurpleLinzi]

Hi Jibberx,

I think the Americans have go the dating game down to a fine art.  When they are 'dating' they're not 'exclusive' to each other, that way you're getting to go out with a few guys, have a bit of fun and hey if it turns out the the younger guy lightens up a bit then brilliant and if you find yourself falling for the divorcee with kids then that's great too and if you find that you don't think either is your type then all three of you had some fun and you move on without all the complications.  You don't need to be sneeky about this and nothing has to get too heavy if you don't want it to.  Just try it and see, I finally adopted the attitude that I would go out on 'dates' with guys and just took it from there.  Good luck x

[Kingaroo]

Why do you think it's wrong to date non-exclusively? That's what dating is FOR!!!! Just don't lead anyone on.