An Angry Mum With Vile Temper And Foul Tongue Raising My Child

[dieseldick]

here goes, she is thai , we were together 9 years married, was great at start sure isnt everyone the same, last 5 years since she had our daughter we have not had sex, she was depressed i think, nevermind i stayed 5 years for sake of our child ,we split 4 months ago, i asked her was she sure she wanted divorce , yes she was certain. ok , i came away to thailand as ive friends and apartment etc here and there was no work for me back home. i called my daughter last night and was speaking away to her my daughter asked me why did i not come back to stay with her and mummy i told her that mummy didnt want me back ( which on hindsight i maybe shouldnt have said ) anyway a torrent of curses and abuse followed from my wife, i said goodbye to my child and i would be home soon, afterwards i texed my wife to say never to curse like that and name call me in front of our child as i do not want her growing up and turning into a kid with social problems maybe even depression or whatever, my wife just replied with more abuse. now im worried for my daughter, i feel like getting social services involved to warn her about her behavior. the thing is will my daughter be better off with both parents living seperately ? tell me your stories please. im determined to get home and take care of my wee girl and give her the love she needs . my hearts telling me to divorce my wife and move on and do the best for our daughter.

[murraymints]

better apart than living in battle field...good luck xx

[pixie373]

Yes. You need to be more careful what you say to your daughter. That didn't help. Did you have any concerns before?

[ummmm]

I don't think parents should stay together for the child.

If you live with a shouter their shouting loses it's impact. My grandad used to rant and rave, effing and blinding. None of us paid any attention to it.

It's how you're treated in between. No matter how much he shouted he also did kind things and we loved him.

[Prudie]

If you genuinely want to put your daughter first then I think you need to get back to the UK, forget about social services for now, and get a divorce on the way with formal agreements in place for the caring of your daughter through the courts. You could live separately but share custody. The longer you leave it like this the more the pair of you are going so say damaging things to each other with your daughter caught in the crossfire.

[jackthehat]

From reading your previous posts, I'd say the chaotic lifestyle you have subjected your daughter to would have a far greater impact on her than hearing a few sweary shouted words from your wife....

[jourdain2]

Prudie's about right. A small child needs protecting and cannot understand. You need to be on home territory. Sounds as if the marriage is past saving so do try for a non-acrimonious divorce. Social services are a way ahead yet; somehow you need to explain to your wife that she must not *** you off before your daughter and that you will undertake not to say anything negative about her. Very best wishes.

[jourdain2]

^^^ I don't know why a word got deleted, it wasn't rude if used as a verb. OK 'tick' you off.

[Zacs-Master]

Have you sorted your car tax problem?

[dieseldick]

im the first to say my lifes been hell this last 6 months, it all started between me and wife when i spent 5 long years getting her 2 teenage sons back to uk from thailand , 2 high court legal battles with home office, tens of thousands spent on legal fee,s eventually i got them back, then one of them started disrespecting me and curses in from off my daughter, last month i heard him call her a *** for god sake she is 5 and children are to protected, i will not have it !! he also disrespected his head teacher indeed when ive been away working offshore i have got 3 calls from his teachers to come in and have a meeting. that is when things really went downhill although up untill then we coped with each other but there was no flame there with the 2 of us sexual wise and very little communication. yes better i go for divorce, i just worry about my daughter being in same house as her sons, you know my wife is thai and thais are totally different in bringing up kids, she let my child last year out in street untill 8.30 at night , i was furious at her that was last year .i think the question i really want to know is this. does a child grow up happier with out her parents shouting together, its not all the time but a lot of times. ive read somewhere that kids who grow up when theyre parents split are unhappy and my heart breaks to think my precious daughter would hurt because i left her mum. but i hate anyone cursing and using dirty foul language in front of kids its discusting .

[dieseldick]

zac why ask a stupid question, go back and read the tax thread ...tut tut and you squad i do not appreciate your miss saigon comment . your a professional doctor ? hmmmmm

[boxtops]

get back to the UK, dick, and see a good divorce solicitor straight away. It's not going to get better while you are so far away.

[dieseldick]

box i only came away to let her cool down , she has a fierce temper plus to give myself time and space to think what direction will i take. i know now what the best thing to do is and thats divorce...again omg !! im 47

[ummmm]

Diesel - my parents split when I was 8 and I have no memories of being unhappy.

[boxtops]

Dick - there's nothing to stop you have email/skype conversations with a UK solicitor before you get home, so that you can start things rolling. With your daughter to think of, you need to make sure that you get it right for her sake.

[boxtops]

...my parents argued and rowed and had years of silence all my childhood life, they didn't like each other, but they didn't split. I'm not sure which was more damaging to the children. Parents setting the children against either parent certainly wasn't helpful

[dieseldick]

ummmm but did you grow up happy after they split, no truancy , no drinking etc thats the question. if i had a boy i think i could sleep better at night but she is my no1 in the world and i want her to have the very best life can give her, i will do my best for her ;-) making a will with thai lawyer in morning when office opens so she gets everything i have its not about money but its a very good start. plus im thinking of packing offshore work in and starting a small company doing something like removals just to be at home where i can see her all the time.

[ummmm]

Yes, I was happy. No truancy or drinking. I seen my dad whenever I wanted to.

I wasn't brought up in a hostile atmosphere though.