Did I do right?

[cazdee]

Just given birth to a beautiful baby boy. Unfortunately two days before he was born my husband slapped me across the face, this is the third time he has been violent towards me in our three year marriage. After he hit me I obviously left and havn't been back since. Did I do the right thing?

[Chessman]

No man worthy of the name should hit a woman, your right to leave him, albeit permanent or temporary, you need to talk to a professional, and so does your husband, but once a wife beater, always a wife beater, and you'd never be able to trust him again.

[Andy008]

I would suggest reporting it to the police. As a nightclub doorman I have to deal with people like this every weekend, give them an inch and they take a mile. Given the way these things work, he also probably receive an extremely unpleasant night in the cells.

[Scarlett]

You ABSOLUTELY did the right thing. He doesn't deserve you. You now have another little person to worry about who is a thousand times more important than him. Don't give him a second thought. Look to your future with your lovely baby.

[toecrusher]

YES you did the right thing, no woman should have to put up with that kind of treatment and what if he starts on your beautiful baby! get rid of him now and concentrate on your baby! , lol

[flump1]

cazdee  you sound as if both you and you baby escaped without too much hurt this time from this bully. It might not be the same the next time. He sounds dangerous and you now have a responsibility to baby and you to take  good care of yourself. I have to agree with previous posts these bullies rarely stop. Enjoy your baby , keep him at a distance. Good Luck to you both.

[cat woman]

Hi cazdee, I agee 100% with all the posts you have recieved, I think a man a is total scum bag to hit a woman, your mother didn't give birth to you for to be a punch bag for any cowardly man.  I would have reported him to the police and pressed charges against him, you have made a excellent decision in leaving, and please dont be taken in with his pathic plea's that he is sorry and it wont happen again, because if he can hit a vunerable pregnant woman, heaven only know's what could happen to a defenceless child.  I wish you a happy future to you and your son, take care. xxx   :-)

[lindapinda]

I think catwoman just about said it all,cazdee.He won't change,he's a dangerous bully.You really did do the right thing.Good luck for the future,and I hope things work out for you and your wee boy.

[OBonio]

Your priority now is your baby boy. Do you think your husband will stop at hitting you? Could he take his hand to a weaker person?

[andy6006]

If he hit you whilst you were pregnant, who knows what`s next, You did the right thing, best of luck for you and the baby

[louadams6]

i agree with all the answers on here. you do not deserve to go through that. Yes you did do the right thing, dont look back just concentrate on the future, your son will give you so much joy and has thankfully been unaffected by this persons violence. I was once in a violent relationship and it took a very good friend of mine to make me realise that i could actually walk away and be a stronger person through it all!

what sort of role model would he be to your son if you stayed with him? thats what you have to think about. You and your son are so much better off without him and by walking away you are giving your son the best start in life. i admire you for having the strength to get out of the situation and wish you all the luck in the world for your future. And last of all we are all here if you need us xxx

[missmooncat]

Definately I was in violent relationship.I ended up having to move to womens refuge away from where I lived,Iam now living in new area with lovely caring partner.The downside was I liked where I used to live and miss it.He just started with a few slaps,and ended up with stool over my head,knife at my throat.And I believe it would have eventually ended in murder either me or him.You did the right thing,and don`t fall for him creeping back crying etc,as he undoubtedly will.

[MadlySane]

Well done for leaving Cazdee. Listen to the answers here, you are a strong woman and the longer you are apart the easier it will be to stay away from this man. Through experience of life I have found that it is true that this man will not change and you and your baby deserve the right to be happy and cherished without fear of violence.

My thoughts are with you to build a new life. We will all be rooting for you. Very best wishes and love to you both X

[Ding-Dong]

He is a ******* cowardly piece of **** **** - men are intrinsically stronger than women, and to strike a woman is the ultimate act of cowardice.

Bin him off, and bin him off for good.

Please forgive the language - my sister had seven colours of **** knocked out of her by her husband, so much so she was almost unrecognisable, so this sort of thing really bothers me.

PS - He got it back in spades.

[Romeo]

You did the right thing for now. But what is your relationship normally like? I don't know all the facts, but sometimes the abuser might need help too (oh dear, I can feel the bricks being thrown at me by some Answerbankers). If he recognises he has a problem, and seeks help for it, then you and he might work something out. But if he is arrogantly and unashamedly violent, then get rid of him and build a new life for yourself, because no child should see their mother being abused.

[Jude123]

Yes! Yes! Yes!  You certainly did do the right thing for yourself and your baby. Don't be tempted to go back ever.

[coggles]

Hello cazdee,

Firstly, congratulations on the birth of your baby.

Secondly, congratulations for getting out of an abusive relationship. That took a lot of courage and you should be very proud of yourself.

Now you are out of it, PLEASE stay out of it, however much your ex may plead to get you back.

Like Ding-Dong, someone very close to me (and a couple of friends) suffered similar experiences and their lives have improved a hundred-fold since leaving their husbands/partners.

Well done for being such a strong woman and good luck to you and your baby boy.

[miss_chase]

Yes, more agreement here too. You did the right thing - very brave - well done!!

And while I agree with Romeo that your husband will need some help and may be able to overcome his violent behaviour, it will not help him for you to stay and accept this behaviour. As much as you needed to leave him, he needed you to leave him...

Good Luck and congratulations on your baby!!