Feeling Very Sad

[Jenarry]

I've had 2 miscarriages in the last 12 months. The anniversary of the 1st one is in a couple of weeks time. :(
My husband doesn't say much about the whole thing but I don't think it's being dramatic if I say I have been devastated about the whole thing.
as we are in our forties I'm now having to come to terms with the fact that we should give up trying and the baby we so wanted is not going to happen.
I have said this to my husband and his optimistic reply was 'it could still happen' but I really don't think it will. we have left to late.
I first asked my husband about 4 yrs ago about trying for a baby together and he made me feel like it was the silliest idea he'd ever heard then when we finally started trying we have managed to get pregnant twice but lost both pregnancies.
I feel sad that we left it so long (and even a hint of anger at my husband for delaying us trying earlier) and now it's not going to happen. he has two boys from a previous relationship who unfortunately he can't see and I have a 9 year old son but I so wanted this baby.
I feel so sad-depressed even -like I am putting on a brave face all the time. :(
no question really . I just needed to share.
I had a miscarriage last sept and one in June that less people knew about and it feels like no-one mentions it but I am thinking about it all the time. :(

[tonyav]

Aw Jenarry, that is so sad feel very sorry for you. Have you seen a Doctor about this ?, there could still be hope yet.

[Jenarry]

I've been told the doctor's will only advise/intervene after you've had your 3rd miscarriage and I feel like time is totally against us. I think I will visit with regards how I am dealing with all this though-i e not very well . :(

[tonyav]

Yes Jenarry judging by your post I think that a visit to the docs would do you good.

[gness]

Jenarry.....I'm so sorry to read this and can only imagine how you're feeling....

One thing you must not do is to accept that you can only get help and advice after three miscarriages......
If you want that now then keep on asking....firmly.... til you get it.....

Much love...Gx

[tonyav]

Forgot to add that it's got to be worth asking about if there is any help available to stop these miscarriages from happening. Although I'm sure that your doc will take this onboard when you talk to him / her about why your there.

[Bathsheba]

So sorry to read this Jenarry, my love,....wish I could do something to help. Have a ((((HUG)))), and don't give up hope.

Baths
x x x x

[Ann]

Much love from me too Jenarry, I do sympathise as we couldn't have a baby to hold in our arms either. I will never ever come to terms with it, I could weep when I see babies who are unwanted and unloved in this world. xx

[Bathsheba]

A hug for (((Ann))) too

x x x

[tonyav]

And from me to ((( Ann )))

[Ann]

Ah thanks Baths and Tone xx much appreciated :)

[Bathsheba]

welcome, my love x x

[Mamyalynne]

I cannot for a moment comprehend the loss and pain you feel, your helplessness is understandable but don't try to cope alone. Go to see about some advice.

Big Hugs to Jenarry and to Ann .♥

[Jenarry]

thankyou everyone for your kind words. and bless you Ann. it does make you feel worse when you hear of the sad stories of children that aren't wanted or have the care that they should have .

[Ann]

I think Jenarry deserves more sympathy than me, she has actually lost 2 babies which must be even more heartbreaking - We just had infertility treatment for 6 years to no avail ...... but that was back in the 80s - now I'm sure there could be much better treatment which could work.

Jenarry please don't give up hope, they can do so much these days. x

[Jenarry]

Thankyou Ann. I will see what help we can get but I think our age may count against us now. :( i will see what the doc says.. that 6 years must have been a long difficult time for you. I'm sorry it didn't have a good outcome for you. xxx

[bunkmoreland]

So sorry for your loss jenarry. I've never been pregnant so I have no idea how devastating a miscarriage is. I had 2 close friends however who both lost babies and although they both went on to have other children,the "loss" never left them.Since you are used to chatting online here,maybe you could find a forum where you could speak to others who have a similar loss.

[ladyalex]

So sorry to hear about your losses, Jenarry.
Maybe these people might help?
http://www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/support/how-we-can-help/

(as well as your GP).

[Old_Geezer]

Unsure I have much to offer as not something I have experienced with anyone I know; but wish to say that your sadness is understandable, but ought not be allowed to take away all your hope. You may still be fortunate in the future; and if it is not to be then at least you will know you tried your best and can find a different focus to your life at that point.

Meanwhile accept you will think about what has happened but allow yourself to come to terms in your own time.

Life is full of ups and downs. Naturally you are at a low now, but you were at a high in times past and will be again, even if it seems not to be so at present.

[meglet]

I've been there Jenarry. We started trying when I was 38 and found out I'd lost a twin pregnancy at the 12 weeks scan. I was totally floored and had not expected it at all. I blamed myself (I'd done nothing wrong tho) and it took me 4 months for my head to feel right and it was only after a week away with hubby that I came home and felt myself again. I got pregnant again the following month, but lost that one too. I knew about the 3 miscarriage thing but my GP was understanding and realised my age was counting against me and referred me anyway. By the time I saw the consultant I was actually pregnant again and he told to start on 75mg aspirin. It seemed to do the trick and I had a little girl. When we started to try again earlier this year I started on aspirin again so was floored again when I had yet another miscarriage. But I stuck with the aspirin and am currently pregnant.

Perhaps see your doc and get an FSH (follicle stimulating hormone) test which will tell you how fertile you still are before giving up completely. Having kids in your 40s is in no way unusual. I'm 41 and have two pregnant friends the same age.

[jourdain2]

All I can offer is fellow-feeling and sympathy. I've only had one miscarriage (early) and that was devastating enough, I can still remember it and the confusing emotions very clearly. There seems to be some very good advice from others on here, I hope it helps you. xx