Death

[MsBehave]

Whats the best to deal with death? Having just 'lost' someone in my family i have been finding it hard to be my usual self. Do you stay strong and not cry or do you just let it out? What about if you just feel really down one min and up the next (like me). I just dont know. Ive lost two grandparents but never a little cousin and its hard to figure this whole thing out. Am i just thinking too much? Should i just go with the flow because thats what i thought i was doing but it doesnt feel right.

[OBonio]

There's no right or wrong way to deal with grief.

You're not expected to act normally. If you do, that's when people get worried!

Thinking about the death isn't bad, though if you're not talking about it then you may be bottling it up too much. You need a release valve and don't feel guilty for doing it!

As for going with the flow... that's all you can do. Take one day at a time and slowly, but surely, things fall back into place. Not entirely, obviously.

I know it sounds cliche, but time is a great healer!

[LiverpoolLou]

Brilliant advice from OBonio.....I'm in total agreement. Hope your feeling better soon MsBehave.

[MsBehave]

Thanks guys.

Its just really hard just now you know. My cousin was only a teenager and at my age (25) ive only ever lost older folk, ie. my grandparents.

[Ladybird50]

Iwas only 16 when i" lost "my brother .It was almost unbearable.. but i got through it- just.To cry is good i think,I still cry..birthday etc.Il be thinking of you...

[fantastical]

heartful posts, all. I was 18 when my 44-year old father passed. It's been almost nine years and honestly...the pain isn't gone. I've found better ways to deal with it...familiarity comes with time ;)

Every couple of weeks or so, when I'm in private space, I think hard of my Dad. Tears swell, run and go. I know that I'll feel him again some day. I'll feel how good it was when I was with him.

Don't be afraid to cry or feel sad. People who have lost a close one deserve to. Try to remember how you felt when you were with your cousin. Use those thoughts to understand other people and things in life. (btw, I'm an optimist and an idealist)

There's a saying: "A pessimist is a person who looks for a problem in which to blame, and an optimist is someone who looks for an opportunity in a problem."

[Rubyrose]

Firstly I'm very sorry for your loss. This must be very hard for you. But as O'Bonio points out, there is no right or wrong way. Every acts differently at times like this and you don't need to put on a brave face or an act as I expect that all your friends and family know what you are going through and don't expect you to be the life and soul of the party right now. Do whatever you need to, cry when you feel like crying and laugh when you feel like laughing. Don't hold anything it. My boyfriend lost his nan not long ago and he never cried until a few months after. One day it just all came pouring out. I hope you get through this ok and I hope you have people who can comfort you. Take care xxxxx

[eternalteena]

Just don't beat yourself up there is no right or wrong way to deal with death we all deal with it in different ways but I found talking to people helps also remembering to good times, I can promise it will get better but it takes time, you can't go round greif you have to go through it.Good luck

[SublimeSelf]

Dear MsBehave

I have just finished reading Dr Brenda Davies book,"Journey of the Soul". If you are open to the idea of reincarnation then I suggest you read it. It has made me rethink everything I knew about death and has made me totally unafraid and she also goes into complete detail on how to deal with death. Very very good. Love and Light...