Dealing With Bullies.

[dieseldick]

called to see my 7 year old daughter last night and she came out of house, i could tell something was wrong right away, asked " are you ok love " she burst into tears, " no daddy i feel sad today " apparently she had been being bullied all day and i was surprised to hear that her closest best friend had taken part and and older girl smashed a rotten runny egg over her head. the area is called benefit street , lots of scum in there but it is brand new housing development in a mixed area of belfast , children run wild and i have had many problems with neighbours since my ex wife moved in there, i am now getting her moved out.

anyway, my child stayed with me last night , i have told her this morning , do not let anyone ever bully you, hit back , tell you best friends mum today what she did and refuse to play with her untill she calls for you and apologised, if any other bigger older kids hit her she must lift a stick and hit them !! do not lie down and back off and take it.

is this wrong ?

i was brought up with my dad trailing me out of the house onto the green to fight and stand up for myself .

best way to teach my daughter. i will not see her bullied like this ever again !

[Old_Geezer]

I think one is either the type to return what get with interest, or you are not and worry about escalating violence towards you. Advice to stick up for yourself is good, but I'd suspect that it needs to be backed up by adults ensuring the kids behave themselves, and the kids being told, and knowing that they must.

[Old_Geezer]

...one gets...

Like I 4/^&&^// well typed !

[TWR]

Happened to me when as school, one bloke used to do it regular, I sorted him out once and for all, did not happen again.

[Cloverjo]

I don't think kids can hit back nowadays without getting into more trouble themselves. Do you know the mother of the other girl? Could you or your ex- partner speak to her? Most parents would be horrified if they knew their kids were bullies and would sort it out.

[murraymints]

parents and school need informing..they will sort things..reciprocal violence is not the answer and may escalate matters..

[trt]

## if any other bigger older kids hit her she must lift a stick and hit them !! do not lie down and back off and take it. ##

(she must lift a stick) Ridiculous statement, she could end up in more trouble.

[Ken4155]

Had a similar problem many years back with my daughter (then aged 5) and another kid higher up the street. On a few occasions, ten minutes after going to play out, she would return, rather sullen and insist that she didn't want to play out. I came home from work one day to be shown an ugly bruise on her upper arm where this kid had hit her with an hammer. A real claw hammer, not a plastic toy! Of course i went up to see this lad's parents but there was no-one at home. So i showed my 5 year old the simple trick of putting your left foot behind a person's right heel and pushing. The very next night i had a rather irate father knocking on my door saying that my daughter had been violent toward his son - who he had with him and who was twice the size and age as my daughter. When this guy saw this and heard the full story, he literally dragged this kid back home. The lad never bullied my daughter again, nor anyone else on the street. My story perhaps illustrates what OG said earlier for i have no doubt that this lad's father (who i later found to be a decent sort) had got the anti-bullying message across to his son. Once he got over the embarrassment of having his 10yo floored by a 5yo slip of a girl, that is.

[ToraToraTora]

I've always found extreme unexpected violence works.

[Ken4155]

The message to get across to anyone being bullied is to fight back - even if they know they'll lose. Sounds daft, maybe, but if there's one thing a bully doesn't like it's being hurt. They much prefer their victims to cower before them and when that doesn't happen, they become confused and frustrated. "This isn't supposed to happen!" they say to themselves. And, when a person fights back often enough, that bully will move on and find an easier target.

[Togo]

I was taught to box and to hit back as child. It works, all bullies are cowards. Once they have been thumped they soon desist. I enrolled my son, aged 5, at the local Karate club. This was the best thing I ever did for him. He was a black belt by the age of 11 and fit as a butchers dog. The thing was though he did not tell his school mates and I did not tell their parents. The third week into his first year at secondary school a 15 year old well known school bully started to pick on him. After giving him a lesson my son was called into the head's office where he was quietly congratulated and quizzed about his ability to defend himself. The bully could not live with the shame of being floored by a little kid and changed schools. Take the girl to karate lessons diesel, it will be the making of her.

[ToraToraTora]

I smashed a chair over the head of one bully, and contrary to the movies it did not break but the bully did he had 5 stitches in his head and a broken collar bone, I expected to get expelled but the head was surprisingly understanding. I was largely left alone after that.

[Tilly2]

She was being 'bullied all day'?

She needs to be taught that you don't have to put up with unpleasant thing. You generally have a choice, just walk away.

Also, she is not going to talk to her best friend's mother, is she? Maybe you need to help her with that.

[ToraToraTora]

she should also be advised that her "best friend" is unfortunately a nasty piece of work and not actually a friend at all.

[Islay]

Sorry but telling your child to pick up a stick and hit back is so wrong, what if she does greater damage to the child.

You need to tackle this like an adult, you need to speak to the parents and the school, maybe even the community officer.

[Tilly2]

School holidays at the moment. The teachers can't do much.

[B00]

Bullied all day?

How?

Is she playing outside on her own at 7 for entire days?

[murraymints]

schools back here Tilly ...and they come down on bullies like a ton of bricks ..had to report some kids a few years back that were bullying oh's youngest..school assembly was held..local bobby came in and told them in no uncertain terms that they would be dealt with !! in private the particular kids and parents were also called in for meetings and told that suspensions would happen if it did not cease immediately...it did !

[douglas9401]

I'm not sure that constructive dialogue would be near the top of the list of things to do to sort out a problem.

[B00]

School back over there are they?

I'm still under the impression this happened at home though, how would a child get a rotten egg into school?

[anneasquith]

In their school bag ?