I am so sorry that you are going through this. I can't say that it will get better soon. There is no timetable for grief, and when people, who mean well, but who usually don't know what they are talking about, tell you this, they are wrong.
Having lost my husband of forty years, two years ago this month, I think that I am coping, and then I get chatting to another widow in the supermarket and suddenly we are both in tears.
I read something about how grief affects us. It is a bit like being on a boat out at sea. For a lot of the time we can sail along fairly calmly and then suddenly, for no reason we are suddenly overwhelmed by the emotion of the loss, and swamped and drowning in tears.
Traci, I'm sorry to say this will go on for some time. Your grief will come and go and you mustn't feel that there is any question of 'why now?' Take your time to understand that this is a tremendous loss. And come back to Answerbank to let us know how you are coping.
When I lost my husband I had amazing support here.