I Hate - No, Despise Any Sexual Activity?

Juliiiiia | 07:50 Tue 13th Jun 2017 | Body & Soul

8 Answers

I have since I was seven. At the age of seven when my parents would have sex, I would go outside and break things. Any sexual activity that comes near me makes me violent. Any movies with sex in it make me infuriated. I am eighteen, and am still a virgin. I have good grades, well mannered, and I never have temper tantrums. I'm a normal teenager unless anything with sex is involved. I have done some things with my ex-boyfriend because I desperately wanted to know what the huge sex rave was about but I hated every minute of it even if we never had sex. It doesn't feel good, it feels disgusting and it's not pleasurable. I've tried masturbating but it's just boring and it makes me hate myself. Every time my parents are having sex, I would break something or hit/punch/cut/burn myself. Not in front of them, but I feel like I'm a burden and I shouldn't even be here. I assume they're swingers even if there's no proof to it, I just assume EVERYONE is. I have ran away a few times in the past whenever they have sex. In the future I plan on getting a breast reduction because what's the point of having breasts if I'm never going to have sex in the future? My parents don't know about my self-harming and breaking habits.I don't self-harm unless they're doing it or it's on TV or someone brings it up. I hate any sexual activity involving anyone because it's NOT love, it's using someone for stupid sexual needs. No, I was never molested, I have no idea why I'm like this and I want some advice because I know what I'm doing is wrong. Please, anyone, help.

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TWR

How do you think you arrived? Sex between parents is permitted Juli, like it or not.

ummmm

You're not the only one. There are plenty of people that chose to live a sexless life.

I'd be more concerned about your reaction to it if it's making you self harm. You really should seek help for that.

Cloverjo

Assuming for a moment that this is a genuine problem, how did you know at age 7 your parents were having sex. Did they do it in front of you? Did you hear noises coming from the bedroom? If so, that could have been the start of the problem, frightened you and you've associated fear and disgust with sex.

Talk to a counsellor if you can to help you break down the association.

Juliiiiia

Question Author

1. I know how I arrived. That doesn't mean I like it.

2. I knew because of the noises and how my older sister explained sex to me. Sometimes, they would even accidentally leave the door cracked and I would see and it just looks evil.

MallyJ

Juliiiia - lots of people choose to live without sex in their lives.... in itself that is not a problem. I am aware that some people also find the very idea of sex disgusting... Your reactions seem a lttle over the top and I think that it would be a good idea to get a referral to a counsellor for some therapy so that you can work through your difficulties... We could all suggest reasons for your feelings but I think that you need a professional to help you .. I hope that you get help soon.

atalanta

This is actually a form of depression, combined with a profound inferiority complex. If you wish to alter yourself and your attitudes, you need counselling.