Friends

[ellen_16]

My friends are being really nasty - they're all out without me and just keep lying to me and stuff. i dont know what to do im in tears

[Dakota]

Hi Ellen,  I'm sorry to hear of your plight.

OK, with these types of situations, there is normally a "ring-leader" and the rest will follow, if this is the case you'll know which one it is.  Why don't you just pluck up the courage to ask her what's going on?  Try to do this while she is NOT with the rest of the gang, as she will act smart infront of the rest and say that nothing is wrong.  Tell her how you feel hurt about what is going on, and turn the tables and ask how she thinks she would feel if she thought her friends were lying and excluding her from activities.  Hopefully doing this will make her realise she is being unfair.

If I am wrong about this theory, is there any of the group that you're particularly close with that you could talk to, on the same basis?  Maybe she will confide in you what's really going on.

It's easy for me to sit here and say, but you have to really think about whether you want to continue the friendship with these people Ellen.  If they are letting you down at this stage in life, then what chance is there of them being there for you when you get older and life gets tougher?  Is there other people you are friends with, just don't hang around with so much?  try easing yourself into their company more and more often, the other girls will realise that they've lost a gem of a friend through their own stupidity and selfishness.

I hope any of that made sense to you, please keep me up to date with the outcome.

Thinking of you xx

[Owen Money]

Sorry you're feeling so sad ellen, you must be feeling pretty isolated right now, care to elaborate?

[Gill 05]

I agree with Dakota. Also if they're treating you like that they wern't very good friends in the first place and your better off without them.

Good luck

x

[Ward-Minter]

Well technically I suppose Sunday is classed as a school night. So may I suggest it's for the best. Early night for you so you will be as fresh as a daisy for double maths tomorrow.

[BUNNY]

Oh Ellen love,we've all been there and it will pass.Its a situation that is so distressing to be in.I have a 15 year old niece who looks very young for her age.A few years ago her friends told her that they didnt want her to be seen outside of school with them as they were trying to look older and more sophisticated and she sort of ruined the image.I was furious and thought she'd be distraught,but she just said-oh they're just being stupid and they'll get over it and come back eventually and if they don't I wouldnt want to be in their company anyway.Needless to say the phase past a few weeks later,and they all got on with things.Its worth adopting her attitude.You don't need their approval to be OK and bear in mind people can behave badly but its usually a reflection of their own probelms and not yours.If the situation doesnt resolve itself then you've a great opportunity to make some new and wothwhile friends and can count yourself lucky to be away from the others.

[ellen_16]

Thanks for all your help it means alot - the 'ringleader' as i thought talked it through with me today and i may have been over-reacting. thank you so much its nice to know people out there actually care xxxxx