Marriage

[justineo]

Do you think it matters if people get married nowadays. Is it better to bring children up within a marriage or is this an old-fashioned view?

[Chessman]

Its getting to be an old fashioned view, but my own view is that marriage is the best medium for rearing children, of course, it has to be a loving relationship, the main problem is divorce, its much too easy, so if there's a problem, it too easy for one of the parents to walk out without trying to find a solution, but to get back to you question, you've only got to look around, and yes, there are exceptions, but in the main, children of married couples are generally more happy and successful.

[XandX]

I too am old fashioned, and would love to have a wedding, marriage etc.

But i also keep the view, that weddings these days are expensive, with divorces even worse.

[rampart]

Here is my interpretation:

A civil ceremony acknowledges a marriage for those who want the event recorded in public record, like a contract. And like a contract, there are always good reasons for both parties to enter it.

A church wedding is a sacrament and covenant between husband, wife, and God. People who choose a church wedding are binding themselves and their marriage to God.

We are free to decide if we wish to include God in our life. When we do, I think a church wedding is best because it helps to strengthen the relationship. Human relationships are difficult - no doubt about that. Many people find help when they add God to their relationship. In the church service wedding, family, friends, church members and clergy are all there in support of the marriage. When times get tough later, and they will - it is just human nature - there remains the network of family, friends, church members and clergy - and God - who are there to help you.

In my case, we are indeed quite old-fashioned. But for us, the support to our relationship from having been married is helpful to us and our children.

Mrs rampart and I regularly attend worship services at the cathedral where we married a few years ago. It is very nice, because I still fondly recall the beauty of the day that we married. We've attended other weddings at the cathedral and other places, but still, I find my own day to be the most beautiful. I remember the emotions in my heart, the smile on her face when she came down the aisle, the coolness of the flowers, the choir and string quartet, dancing, and honeymoon.

We certainly have some struggles on occasion. But there are many things about the wedding that help us keep ourselves together. And when the fight is over, I'm always glad that we stuck it out.

So, yes, in my particular case, marriage is helpful to our family.

[justineo]

Thankyou for your answers

[sophieb]

I did everything ' the right way round' as my mother calls it and both my children were born while I was married. We are now divorced ( not easy at all, Chessman!) and I can assure you that my children are much happier now and both doing well. I dont feel this would have been the case if we had remained in a marriage where everyone was stressed out all the time. They now have two happy, fully functioning parents who simply work better without each other.

[loopey]

i'm old fashioned as far as the kids go, if its just the two of you then whatever, but i think having mummy and daddy married is a security thing for children, its written down that mummy and daddy love each other and are forever ( even though in reality that doesnt always happen)

[Chessman]

sophieb, I did say there were exceptions, and your obviously one of them, especiallly if you have the support of family and friends, and you are to be commended, but I still stan by what I said.

[tradey]

hi there,my brother inlaw has been with his girlfriend since they were teenagers,there not married have two great kids and are still together now after 20 odd years,there kids havent suffered coz of them not being married,they say at the end of the day its only a peace of paper,i think there scarred it may change if they married