Visitor Here

[jennyjoan]

I gave a lift to the "visitor here". She moved from a little house to a fold last year but since I was giving her and sista a lift - she invited us to see her little home.

She is only 55 years young. Seen her home and then she was showing us around and we went into another old lady 81 in her home. Can't walk with arthritis in both legs, incontinent and the rest. Very pleasant lady bless her.

Now what are your views on the lady in question (81) being alone in this apartment all day apart from carers coming in through the day or being in a nice care home with company and attention 24 hours a day.

I came home pretty low and say to myself - to just be able to walk says everything.

[Mamyalynne]

Some people love to stay in their own place and others would thrive in a nice care home, it's very individual JJ.

[wolf63]

Maybe she is happier at home, it's her decision.

[kvalidir]

Whatever suits the person as Mamya says, the important thing I think is that people are afforded choice and respect for their decision whatever their age and whatever that decision might be. x

[Old_Geezer]

I'd tend to think it should be the old lady's decision, but if she can't walk to the toilet or kitchen, then perhaps she should be in care somewhere.

[Buenchico]

The thought of "being in a nice care home with company and attention 24 hours a day" would horrify me.

[jennyjoan]

Yes just sat in the chair waiting and waiting - and when you can't move - the day is so long.

[jennyjoan]

thing is Chris - you can move

[jennyjoan]

and OG - when you are old - sometimes you can't make your own decisions - you depend on others to make that decision for you.

[Mamyalynne]

If she wishes to move then maybe your young friend could make enquiries for her.

[jennyjoan]

Mamy - the "young" friend shouldn't have moved there. She was too young - and I'm sorry but whilst the fold was nice - there wasn't a bird about, not a child's laughter, not a noise, nothing. Too prisony like.

And young friend is autistic so doesn't really know any better - thinks it's great but I actually felt sorry for her living there. Whilst living in her previous home there was lots activity going on.

[Mamyalynne]

The thing is whether it's a settlement of singles/over 55s/disabled or even a care home you'll not get much in the way of lively family style activity around.

It wouldn't suit me , certainly for the foreseeable future, I love a good mix of people,children and pets.

Not a gated style existence.

[anneasquith]

What is a " fold" ?

[Canary42]

//// in a nice care home with company and attention 24 hours a day.////

Alas, the reality falls far short of this.

[Mamyalynne]

Anne, I take it to be a smallish gathering of dwellings for people of a similar need or type - it may have a throwback as a term involving the Church or even agriculture.

[marval]

There is a bit about it here.
http://www.nicva.org/organisation/fold-housing-association-head-office

[Mamyalynne]

Ah, here's me thinking it was a term like Close,Court or Grove.

[woofgang]

So long as I am not so far demented that I lack capacity, anybody who tries to make my decisions for me on the basis that I am old and my legs don’t work will find that my brain and my vulgar vocabulary are still in full working order. One of the worst and nastiest things we can do to people is to take away their right to choose. We may think their choices are wrong but they should still be respected.

[anneasquith]

Thanks for the info marvel .

[ummmm]

My granddad refused to go into a home even though he kept having accidents. He had carers twice daily and visits from us lot daily. Social services managed to persuade him to try a care home for a week. He loved it and never went home.

[woofgang]

Pretty much the same story as my mum ummm, except she tried care homes twice and hated them.