Those Who Naturally Gravitate Towards Parenthood

[Scarlett]

I was thinking about my time at secondary school, and the girls in my class who were deemed 'promiscuous'. ie they had boyfriends at 13 or 14, often had older brothers or sisters, and were WAY ahead of me in the worldly stakes. Then there were those like me who weren't ready for boyfriends until MUCH later, who revised hard and planned to go to university. The girls with boyfriends were taught home economics and childcare, and I was taught A levels. The school often seemed to look down at these girls, preferring the more academic ones. Those girls who were ready to have sex at an early age, and had boyfriends invariably got pregnant pretty soon after they left school. In many ways I think they were far more advanced than me- they got to do the real life stuff much earlier than I did. They seemed switched on to what life is basically about- pairing up and reproducing, and they were ready for that really early. Do you think that girls like this are often looked down on, by getting pregnant early, when actually it's probably just their calling?

[david small]

Birds fly, fish swim, slappers slap.

[woofgang]

I don't think it is "just their calling" and I don't think that life is basically about pairing up and reproducing. If it was we'd all live in caves. There were similar girls at my school, and none of them had parents who cared a hoot about their futures.

[Tilly2]

I did A levels and went to Uni but I did have boyfriends when I was at school. Nothing serious until I got to Upper Sixth.

That's a huge generalisation you have there, Scarlett.

[Tilly2]

There weren't many slappers in my grammar school but we all had boyfriends.

[Old_Geezer]

Is that really what life's all about ?
Maybe for some, but people come in a wide variety of types.
Calling seems a bit fanciful. Folk simply are who they are.

[Old_Geezer]

Schools are about academia. Hardly surprising they consider academic types a success then.

[Scarlett]

My school didn't seem to think they were generalising when they herded loads of girls into the groups every year, who took the babies and housekeeping lessons. And not all schools are about academia. I've taught many students vocational subjects where they can learn hands on and practical subjects without having to write essays- still considered as important by the school/college. One of my best friends taught Childcare at college. My point is... I feel like these girls were treated pretty badly, and like they were slappers! I know what you mean about their parents and do wonder whether there is a social reason for them getting pregnant so young.

[david small]

Your a Liberal aren’t you Scarlett?

[ummmm]

I got pregnant quite young and I'm far from being one of 'those' girls.

[Old_Geezer]

Schools do their best with the non-academic. Herded is an emotional description. Maybe housekeeping lessons were considered of most use to them. I'm unclear why you feel that they were so hard done by. Nor why you seem to feel bad about it.

[tonyav]

Do you think that girls like this are often looked down on, by getting pregnant early, when actually it's probably just their calling?

Happened to quite a few girls that I knew, they missed out imo.

[ethandron]

All sorts of girls get pregnant accidentally, from all sorts of backgrounds, nothing to do with a ‘calling’.

[KARL]

For more than half a century, women and girls have had the option of controlling their fertility, men and boys still do not enjoy that luxury (the condom is not an equivalent) and now we even have the morning after pill to completely cover all options. Males, young nones in particular, are blind to the fact that there are women who, due to strong peer pressure in that direction, are quite prepared to deliberately become pregnant without discussing with their sexual partner whether that is what he too wants and sometimes even when it is already pretty clear it is not. There are those who would say that it serves the men in question right, but that is getting rather close to an equivalence of saying molestation serves women right. A lot of "accidental" pregnancies are no such thing and the women concerned know full well they are not - but saying that outright is a very strongly policed social taboo. It is long since time that men woke up to the risks they are running - the hormones and the taboo conspire to ensure the same mistake continually occurs. A long term male contraceptive should be developed to create equality between the sexes, vasectomy should be encouraged and subsidised. The phenomenon of pregnancy without full mutual consent would hopefully vanish, and the birthrate would be affected. Equality at last, at least in this department.

[KARL]

*ones

[Peter Pedant]

Hmm girls who want a good time really want babies
I am not sure of that one

Certainly some girls get pregnant because they will be given a house to live in - I am not sure if that is the case now. And then comes all the other bit of having to bring up the child on their own

[Toorak]

Is this real?

[pixie374]

People just want different things at different times. I'm really not sure there is anything in common because of it.

[Sqad]

LOl...LOL....there is something to your post....LOL...."it's probably just their calling".......LOL....I like that.

In the 50's and 60's sex still went on amongst teenagers but it seemed to be controlled by fear of becoming pregnant and the social aspect of becoming pregnant which was a stigma in those days.
Contraception was in it's early stages (except for the sheath) and the girls future was being a good mother and wife, generally speaking.
Yes....david small at 1959 is correct....the "slappers" ( the precocious ones who put it about a bit) were more likely to become pregnant and sex started at a much later age.....generally speaking.

Over the next half a century, attitudes changed amongst the female teenagers and more of them became more precocious at an earlier age and society seemed to accept this change. Being pregnant outside of marriage was accepted and dare i say this, was becoming the norm. Methods of contraception were there for all to use, but despite this, UK became the teenage capital of Europe.

LOL.... I get back to your phrase Scarlett..."their calling".......LOL.....there is more who see promiscuous sex as routine and acceptable now, then there ever was.
No fear, certain advantages and socially acceptable.

Interesting thread Scarlett.

[Souldarkness]

Perhaps the need to have something later someone who loves them back is part of the drive. Met a number of young women who chose this path and despite generally being of the whatevva type on the surface they almost all had low self esteem . Perhaps if you are told and shown your future often enough you never believe you can change it.

[woofgang]

good comment souldarkness.....very sad but good point....links in with what I said about parental care.