Things For Mother To Do!

[Scarlett]

My dad died a couple of months ago and my mum is alone for the first time in 55 years (she’s 80). She’s doing her best to keep busy at home, mostly cooking and housework but she gets very sad on rainy and cold days. I live miles away and want to send her something from Amazon to keep her busy. She already has jigsaws. Any ideas would be great, maybe good films? Or anything that would be a nice surprise to get in the post?!

[tamborine]

A mobile phone & Answerbank so we&she can share all

[ladybirder]

Scarlet, has your mum or mum and dad ever had a dog before?

[Scarlett]

She and my dad had a big golden retriever for ten years but found it a big tie as they couldn’t go away easily. She is planning on visiting family in the summer and wouldn’t want to put a dog in kennels. I suggested the dog share scheme - I’ll mention it again.

[anneasquith]

Her husband only died a few months ago. Let her progress at her own pace.

[ladybirder]

Scarlet, if she preferred, when she's ready, she could foster rather than rehome if that suited her better. The rescue would then take the dog back when she wanted to go on holiday etc. Just an idea.

[DarceyK123]

There is a site called "borrow my doggy" where you can volunteer to walk a dog of a local person for them, the site matches you up,

That way she can do as much or less as she likes.

[jno]

sudokus and Netflix are good time-fillers (as I well know) but maybe she could do with something bigger than that - after all, she's lost the mainspring of her life. If I lost my OH I wouldn't plan on filling the gap with sudokus.

Does she have any interests from the past that she'd like to take up again? Would she like to travel? (Not necessarily abroad.) Do something with U3A? Work in a charity shop? These may perhaps be a bit much for an 80yo; then again, she might appreciate something that gives a focus to her life rather than just passes time.

[riptide]

I have my dogs registered with The Cinnamon Trust who are a charitable organisation for the older generation. I am sure they must foster dogs out as well as looking after them when you are ill or die. Early days yet for your Mum but keeping busy is a start. I agree she must get out more otherwise she will get depresssed. I meet lots of nice people when I am out with my two dogs and we quite often have a natter.

[emmie]

i would say give her some time, she has only just lost her husband. Maybe a dog fostering would be good for her, but perhaps not yet...

[rowanwitch]

I agree with Anne and Emmie, she is still in the very early stages of grief and it's only natural to be sad. Are you sure you are not finding her grief to deal with as well as your own. If she is the same a year from now, then think about distractions

[emmie]

totally agree ^^

[Smowball]

What about any local groups when she is ready? An elderly neighbour of mine joined a local church group. She isn’t even religious but they have coffee mornings and loads of things, and she’s made so many friends.