In A Dilemma

[fruitsalad]

Our Grandaughter who is 8 and we have almost brought up from a baby, is at home with her Mum, during this time, her and my Son split a long time ago, shes stayed with us every weekend and lots of school holidays all her life, and treats our home like her 1st home and her Mums home like her 2nd the last few days she has been pleading with us to come and stay, (she doesnt have much of a life at her Mums its breaking my heart like a lot of others in this position I'm sure, we have tried to explain that we really shouldn't have her stay, and cant take her anywhere, (only for a walk but she just keeps saying she doesn't care, I just want to come and stay with you and Grandad, I was wondering if we were to take her temperature, and she stayed here until this is over or the schools go back, or would we taking a big risk.

[maggiebee]

If I was in your position FS I think I would take the chance. You would have to weigh up the pros and cons of course.

[Pooka1950]

My first thought is what does her Mum think about it?

[mallyh]

have a look at co parenting on lockdown ,can children see both parents ..............as you did so much caring for her perhaps it applies xx

[albaqwerty]

My first thought is if mum is ok with it, then do it.
Surely it's similar to child/ren going between divorced/separated parents?

I've worked out a way to get to see my older son for a weekend but we're all resisting that move. He is, however, 27 and not 8.

[fruitsalad]

Her Mum would would jump at it Pooka

[Pooka1950]

Fair enough. I think I'd go for it then.

[Zacs-Master]

The thing you have to ask yourself is ‘is it worth risking my granddaughter’s and my life over her being a little bored’

It’s a terrible death.
septic shock means the blood pressure drops to dangerously low levels and organs stop working properly or fail completely.
Acute respiratory distress syndrome caused by widespread inflammation in the lungs stops the body getting enough oxygen it needs to survive. It can stop the kidneys from cleaning the blood and damage the lining of your intestines.
eventually the damage can reach fatal levels at which organs can no longer keep the body alive.

[fruitsalad]

Yes Zacs all that and yet my brother who has had kidney cancer and one kidney removed is not even on the vunerable list, and is still going to work!

[ToraToraTora]

if she has been in lockdown for weeks and not in contact with anyone and shows no symptoms and the same for you then go and get her.

[ToraToraTora]

the rules are for the rules but we ain't robots we can reason, we can use some common.

[Patsy33]

I would probably do it. If it's ok with her parents, and you've weighed up the pros and cons, and are happy to take the risk, then go ahead. I'm sure it will boost your immune system seeing your much loved granddaughter, and visa versa.

[AuntPollyGrey]

Fruitsalad, you are taking a risk, albeit a small one, as if she has been isolated since the schools closed , and her and her mother are not showing signs of Covid-19 then the risk is minimal.
Has she said why she wants to come to stay? Reading between the lines it could be a bit more than just boredom and in that case I'd get the child into your care as quick as possible.

[Zacs-Master]

It’s a bit like drink driving. Everyone knows you shouldn’t do it but ‘free will’ means there’s nothing to really stop us.

[fruitsalad]

AuntPolly, it is partly boredom, with her, but shes also very close to her Grandad and myself, we have been like 2nd parents to her, and the obvious thing that we do know is she doesn't get a lot of attention at home, and is left to her own devices, she is clean and fed etc but there is a bit more disipline, and structure, with us.

[calmck]

If both of them and you have been isolated for at least two weeks and none of you have symptoms the mental health,IMO, outweighs the risk. Does the mother agree.
Can the transport be done “legally”? Can you help with the home schooling? Do you have a shopping system set up? Are you able to have outdoor exercise. If yes then I would go for it. My grandkids spend Sunday to Monday 12 to 12 and Tues and Thurs after schooling to 7pm with their father. Monday and Saturday they are with me till evening and the rest of the time with her partner and his two of same ages. All are self isolating apart from shopping, which is once a week and very well organised here re how many in shops and 2metre distancing. Go for it

[bednobs]

where is the dad in all this? Will he expect to come and see her when she's living with you? That' the biggest risk i can see

[fruitsalad]

bednobs no he works from mon through till saturday and likes the sunday to himself, if he can although he does face time her etc, and has always kept in contact at holidays etc.

[bednobs]

what a poor little sausage - not wanted by either her mum or dad, no wonder she wants to come to you!

[AuntPollyGrey]

Her mum gives her 'little attention' and her father 'likes his sundays to himself'. Poor little mite I would go get her this afternoon Fruitsalad and not give her back!

[bednobs]

if you get her, make sure she gets all of her school work too,