Ghosted

Nay37 | 13:07 Sun 05th Jul 2020 | Body & Soul

36 Answers

What do you do when someone you've really connected with ghosts you out of the blue.
I met this guy at work and we got along so well right from the start. I just felt so comfortable with him and could just be my self and I felt we'd known each other for much longer than we had. He felt the same. At the time he had a gf and I had a bf we both have kids within those relationships. Anyway we got really close didn't do anything but kiss. After a couple of months he broke up with his gf (nothing to do with me) and left the company and moved back to his home town which is about an hour's drive away. We stayed in contact and he would come up and see me when he could. We became friends with benefits. I fell for him big time. He said he felt the same. We kept sorta seeing each other for a few months. Then Covid happened and he said he was taking his kids to his cousins for a couple of weeks and he would try to stay in touch, but then I didn't hear from him again. It's been 4months since we last spoke. Have no idea what's I did or said to cause this. Not been ghosted before.

Hair Falling Out

Trigger Finger

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LadyCG

Have you tried to contact him at all in that time?

bednobs

for whatever reason, he doesn't want it to continue. You need to move on.

AuntPollyGrey

Maybe he thinks you've ghosted him? How many times have you texted hi without him replying.

bednobs

also, are you still with your boyfriend?

ummmm

When did it start getting called 'ghosted'?

Just sounds like he lost interest.

bednobs

c'mon ummmm, get with the kids :)

ummmm

My kids are not kids anymore :-(

Nay37

Question Author

Thanks for the replies guys n gals. I did message him and call him after the couple of weeks he was away. No answer. He's since blocked me on FB or deleted his fb account. Can't get in touch with him. Phone goes straight to voicemail.

tiggerblue10

You need to move on now Nay. I was in a similar situation a few times in my 20s. Not nice but there's nothing you can do about it.

pastafreak

Life happens, people see things differently after separations, we've been through weird times lately. Just chalk it up to experience and move on.

ummmm

Are you still with your BF?

andy-hughes

It looks like he has severed contact.

If either of you is in a steady relationship, then this relationship is going to end in tears. It may be for the best that it s finished.

What you do is appreciate the time you had, and accept that it is over now, and put your energy into your family.

Nay37

Question Author

i think this guy has made me realise how unhappy I was with my bf. I certainly couldn't be as relaxed or talk to my bf like I could this other guy. They do say that people are together for a reason, season or a lifetime. This guy's ghosting still really hurts like a female dog to put it politely x

andy-hughes

Nay - // i think this guy has made me realise how unhappy I was with my bf. I certainly couldn't be as relaxed or talk to my bf like I could this other guy. They do say that people are together for a reason, season or a lifetime. This guy's ghosting still really hurts like a female dog to put it politely x //

If this friendship has caused you to re-assess your relationship with your partner, then it may be time for you to move on from him and continue your life without him.

That said, you need to be wary of the easy trap of imagining that your absent friend would provide a solution to all your emotional problems, a feeling that can be made stronger by his absence.

You need to more forward carefully in your current vulnerable state.

I wish you well whichever way you decided your future likes.

jno

maybe you need to reassess your relationship with him too? You probably didn't think of him as someone who'd dump you; but he has. It suggests he's more cowardly than you imagined; and it's better to find this out sooner rather than later.

Not really anything you can do: if he wanted to give you a reason he could have done so. It always hurts, but you will have to move on and you might as well prepare to do so. Grieve as long as you want, but the pain will fade and you can come to trust others again.

ummmm

You 'was'? So have you split? I'm only asking as it could be making the ghosting feel worse.