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River Of Tears

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OkSheIsBroken | 21:07 Fri 02nd Oct 2020 | Body & Soul
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I dont know who to talk to i feel so broken two of the most important people to me have died Im having nightmares about the deaths and im so scared to cry because if i do i dont think ill ever be able to stop ive tried Suicide 3 times and i use to cut and it became like an addiction something seemed calming about not focusing on the pain inside but instead the outside I have this pain inside that i cant get rid of ive distanced myself because i dont want anyone to get to close i feel like one more crack and i will completely fall apart I keep on listening to all the bad things people say about me im told to just ignore them but it isnt that easy I dont know what to do
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Grief is real, allow the tears to fall - don't listen to the bad things but you absolutely must seek some help.

It doesn't mean you are weak,it means you are human.
Ring (or e-mail) the Samaritans now . Life is precious, don't throw it away just because some ignorant idiots bad-mouth you.

https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/?gclid=CjwKCAjwn9v7BRBqEiwAbq1Ey-UxOXMYrzL4iKJPONfQHpp_oVJ_ZeIpmNMn0ulGWJ0X5ICp-vPq1RoCvjwQAvD_BwE

Crying is good. It helps one cope with the next period. Obviously in moderation, you need to get your feelings out, then you can compose yourself again to cope with the world a while.

I don't know what these bad things you refer to are, but if you have no one to confide in then the above suggestion of contacting the Samaritans is an excellent one. Trying to cope on one's own is much harder, as you've found out.
Your grief is absolutely natural and crying can be a great release. Don't be afraid to give in to how you feel - cry, rage at the world, scream and shout if you want, these will all help with what must be a terrible loss for you. As others have said, talking to someone might help get things clear in your own head and Samaritans are a good organisation. They will give you time and space to explore your feelings and they are completely confidential and won't judge you. Dealing with those who bad mouth you is difficult, but with the right support you can do it and move forward. Take care of yourself.

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