Loving Yourself

[naomi24]

Do you ... and how does it work? What does that mean?

[Mamyalynne]

I never use that term but rather I do care and respect myself, I know the people and situations to avoid to keep me mentally safe and well.

[andy-hughes]

That's an interesting question.

I like things about myself as a person, I dislike things about my physicality which I can't change.

I would not say that I 'love myself' - that sounds both arrogant and needy.

[naomi24]

AH, To whom does it sound arrogant and moody? To you - or is that your perception of the way it sounds to other people - therefore you might think it but avoid actually saying it?

[andy-hughes]

It sounds arrogant and needy if I looked in the mirror and said 'I love you ...'

I am nowhere near insecure enough to need that sort of personal affirmation.

[Mamyalynne]

It really all depends on what you take the term to mean, it means different things to different people.

It's not about self admiration.

[Patsy33]

Sometimes we can neglect ourselves, always loving and caring for others and forgetting about our needs, too.
I think, particularly as we get older, we need to look after ourselves physically and mentally, and not worry too much about what others think, also, value and not to be hard on ourselves. Try to be proud of who we are.

[Mozz71]

I think it's just a byword for having confidence in your actions and appearance. Don't put yourself down and think you're less important than anyone else. Have a good sense of self worth.

[barry1010]

It means treating yourself the same as someone you love. You reassure them that the bits they hate about themselves are just fine and you mean it but you torment yourself about your nose/weight/accent/skin.

[naomi24]

Mamyalynne, do you deliberately avoid certain people and situations that worry you or undermine you in some way? I mean absolutely refuse to become involved under any circumstances?

Good posts Patsy, Mozz and Barry.

[emmie]

i am the worlds worse at loving myself, i have little or no self esteem, and i think who would like me, or love me, except family maybe. physically i am not in good shape, and mentally far down the road from where i should be - sounds like whingeing when i read it back, its not meant to.

[eleanor2]

Being happy with the person you are & knowing you live & give the best of who you are. Being respectful of others but also expecting to receive that back.
.

[woofgang]

I think barry has nailed it for me, but I also think there is a little more to it. For me it cuts both ways because there is an element of do as you would be done by. If I am "allowed" to love myself in the same way that I would love another person then my expectations of my behaviour should be the same. I can't be lazy or unkind or thoughtless if I don't think they should.

[gulliver1]

How to love yourself Ask Donald Trump.

[Bobbisox1]

Being happy about who you are is the way I see it ,accepting when you're wrong is another key

[AuntPollyGrey]

I don't think one can give themselves unconditional love or no-one would ever strive to better themselves. I think it's one of those imported Americanisms (like 'being in love means you never have to say sorry) that means very little when any serious thought is given to it. I think everyone has the capability to love certain parts of themselves, but equally hate parts of themselves or their character. The key is to accept and try to manage these feelings, which comes under the umbrella of self-esteem, not self-love.

[tiggerblue10]

I wouldn't say I love myself but have to appreciate I am who I am and what I am and can never change that.

When I've suffered with depression I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror for feeling ugly. I've been put down a few times which have also caused me to feel crap about myself. That feeling of self-loathing. I get over it and bounce back.

[woofgang]

APG again I think we risk getting knotted up in semantics here but for me unconditional love and acceptance doesn't mean not aspiring for one's self or encouraging a loved one to aspire if they want to. To me it doesn't mean being blind to faults either....without getting all new age, its maybe about dividing off behaviour from the person? You can unconditionally love a person who never puts their dirty socks in the washing basket even while cursing them for not doing it.

[Hopkirk]

No, I annoy myself for my failings.

Is there any chance of being someone else for a while?

[woofgang]

hopkirk, being annoyed with someone doesn't rule out loving them.

[ummmm]

I like myself. I wouldn't want to change. I have 3 well adjusted children who are educated and hard working, a partner who loves me, a loving family and great friends who I've been friends with since school.

I wouldn't call it love though. Just a 'well done, we done good'