Relationship Conflicts

[ref43]

hello all, my boyfriend has been a whole lot better & like himself for the past week...... then all of a sudden, the past 2 days he has been unusually quiet & not like himself. so i finally cornered him last night & got him to tell me what was up. he delivers mail for the post office. it turns out, one of his high school crush's is back in town working @ a place where he picks up mail collections at. anyhow.... he says, "i've only talked to her a little bit as in hi & i only answer any questions she has for me." needless to say, i didn't yell @ him b/c he was being honest w/me, but i sure fell a little on the worried side b/c guys can tend to do some stupid regretful things & screw things up. we also got into a conversation about marriage. im suppose to be finished w/nursing school in june 2006; im ready for a committment. he basically told me last night that he doesn't see himself getting married in the next 2-3 years b/c he feels like he is "cheating" when he is looking around; similar to what happened up above. im not so sure i can wait 2-3 yrs. plus my mother hates him for basically no reason (we also got to talking about this when we were talking about marriage); he doesn't have brown hair, brown eyes, over 6 foot tall, & he isn't a doctor. instead, he has blonde hair & blue eyes just like me, he is exactly 6 foot tall, & he is a mail carrier w/a bachelor's degree in finance. my boyfriend said that he doesn't want a mother-in-law who hates him. i should have a say so too; what about me being happy?? any suggestions on what i should do or say that may change either one of our minds???? he's 25 & im 23. thanks!

[Cockney_si]

You must trust your gut feelings with this one, trust him and then see what happens, if you think he's gonna cheat and he does then put it down to a bad experience.

I can't see that not wanting to get married is a reason not to stay together although you may have other reasons too. Sorry but I got dumped for this reason once and I think it was a complete cop-out on her part.

We all do things against our mothers wishes too so don't feel ghuilty about it all either.

Hope things go well for you !

[funnywebsite]

I don't know he might be trying to let you down slowly by hinting. Are you two living together? He seems to be trying to wriggle out of this relationship now he has seen his ex.

I had a boyfriend once that told me he has a best mate at work which is a girl and he was having lunch with her on a regular basis. Anway one night it was his works night out for staff only. He came home and told me he and her were now an item. I reckon he had been hinting to me but I trusted him and didn't pick up the hints.

It's a shame we cannot read people's mind.

[ref43]

funnywebsite

I'm not sure what is with him...... Yes, we are living together. I put a lot on the line for that. I left my parents & living w/them for him. We have been living together for about 2 years; been dating 2 1/2 years. I must say; when we first started living together, we had all kinds of fights. It wasn't easy; once we got used to each other & the things we did we were fine. As far as him trying to wriggle out of this relationship, I'm not sure. I do keep straight out asking him if he wants out; he tells me "No, I love you." Although he has recently had a sore throat, I'm trying to cut him some slack but he just doesn't seem interested in me sexually anymore. I know that its not everything in a relationship but it should be there somewhat. He has NEVER ever even in high school dated his crush that is back in town.

[aphroditee]

ok... no leave him right away, even though it will hurt... believe me women, ive been through it already... look your mom hates him, its not for no reason... and if he says he feels like he's cheating... leave him to teach him a lesson, believe me he will come back. he probably knows that he has you and no matter what, he knows you will always be there, so why should he get married and commit... tell him that since he's feels like he's cheating then he can go back with his ex, tell him you dont need him and leave. say bye bye. he will be shocked. maybe he wont call you for a day or two, but believe me, he will call... he wil realize hat he had, and what he lost. youll have him begging for you. and if thats still not enough for you, set him up. why dont you go meet his ex, and talk to her about him, have her even set him up and put the moves on him and youll see for yourself if he'll cheat.. oh he will. and if his ex doesnt wanna set him up, find another women to do it.... i done it plenty of times, i was always right about my feelings. the guys ive been seeing started acting funny and saying weird things, i got them. i set them up and they failed... they all ran back to me, begging on their knees. just dont take him back for a while. to teach him a lesson... make him suffer, he'll realize how life is with out you, just do yourself a favoe, fix the problem now before it becomes bigger and youll only hurt yourself... youll see....

[aphroditee]

oh and yes he's trying to hint something, but you be the bigger one and say too bad im leaving... you dont know what you want. act like you dont care, youll see what will happen... just leave. he'll run after you....