Mourning And Remembering People And Pets

[pastafreak]

Googling information on sighthounds brought up memories of Sally...last year those same memories triggered off a year of a great sense of loss. Any and all memories led to crying binges.
Today's thoughts then went to my sister who passed in January...my initial thought being I'd forgotten her. Its 30+ years, so the date often passes without me yhinking of it.
But no...coincidence?...today is her anniversary.

[Sqad]

"It's being so cheerful that keeps me going."

[Redhelen72]

I sometimes think the loss of pets is harder to bare than the lost off family.

My Stepmum rang this morning - my dad's dog passed away in the early hours of the morning 2 days shy of his 16 anniversary with them.
She is in pieces as it was her baby with my dad, she says its like losing my dad all over again.
I am over in March so will scatter their ashes together.

[rowanwitch]

I enjoy my animals while I have them but don't mourn them, although I have lost many people through my life I rarely miss them Maybe only Dave got close enough to cause pain in his passing., Sometimes a disability can be a very big blessing.

[pastafreak]

I have Sally's ashes and had intended to scatter at least some of them...never had the courage to do so. Maybe I should.

Sqad...is that a dig of some sort?

[chanel5]

Anniversaries are difficult. Sometimes I forget to remember that a particular date is the anniversary of the death of a loved one, and then I feel guilty for having forgotten, which adds to the sense of loss.
I think we need to be kinder to ourselves.
We mourn those who have died, both our human family and our dearly loved animals, but life takes over, and preoccupies us.
The loss of our beloved companions hits me at unexpected times, and I can cry unexpectedly at the memory - but then completely forget on the anniversary.
Grief and loneliness at the loss of those we love cannot be regulated.
We deal with it when it comes and forgive ourselves for not feeling it when the date dictates that we should.

[lankeela]

I prefer to cherish the memory of their lives rather than mourn their passing. Having had a lot of animals it is inevitable that over the years you will lose them, and it would be a very depressing life indeed if spent continually mourning them. I prefer to remember the funny things they did and the joy they brought you - and I count my human family in that as well. I never collect ashes from passed pets, and have never visited a family member's grave or memorial - I always said I preferred to visit my dad's favourite pub and have a pint in his memory.

[pastafreak]

I remember reading that 'forgetting' a date was a sign of moving on, and part of the grieving process.
No guilt should be felt...but being human we feel it anyway.