Paddy strolls into work and his boss says: "You're over three hours late."
"I know I am," replies Paddy. " I came out of my house and the car wouldn't start. So I walked to my friend Murphy's house and he kindly gave me a lift."
"But you live less than a mile from here." Shouts his boss.
"I know I do," says Paddy. "But Murphy doesn't."