Ex-boyfriend

[lil_jenny]

Hi i'm 19 and live in wiltshire. I've emotionally hurt my boyfriend in the past. I split up with him but now we've got closer again but he's keeping me at arms length. I know that a lot of people have been in the same situation. Is he just in it for a bit of fun now or is he just scared of it getting more serious again???? And more importantly - what should i do??? Please.

[Sweet cheeks]

If you were really keen one some-one and then they went and 'peed on your bonfire' and left you hurt, would you readily let them back in? Perhaps you ought to stop trying to second guess his feelings and really think about what you want out of the relationship, bare your soul and then suffer the consequences. If he wants you .....Yey!!!! If not.... well, it hurts doesn't it!?!?!?

All the best!

[WendyS]

Once bitten, twice shy. I suspect he's holding back because he's not prepared to put himself through the wringer again. You didn't say what you did to hurt him so badly but he's obviously going to need to be pretty sure that it won't happen again before he makes a commitment a second time. Have you tried having an honest talk with him , saying how badly you feel about it and asking if he's prepared to try again. I think you need to show that you have learned your lesson and will not show repeat behaviour. Men may like to seem tough on the outside but emotionally they suffer just as women do, and anybody who has been hurt once will not necessarily willingly go through it again.