How to win the girl!

[Gevs1966]

Ok, here is the scenario, there is a great girl at work who I really like, however, she currently has a boyfriend. It just so happens that the boyfriend has gone off travelling for a few months. We have been out a couple of times casually and also as part of a bigger group. She knows I quite like her and people have told me she likes me too but I'm not too sure. She has told me she is confused about things with her boyf and I really do respect the situation she is in but I still want her!

Any ideas on the best way to approach this without completely messing up anything we already have. I appreciate that it is not a nice thing to make a move on someone elses girl which is why I haven't done anything but its driving me mad I need to do something!!

[snook]

Gevs, if you don�t make a move of some kind you�ll be kicking yourself, maybe for ever. Get some time alone with her (a drink or a date, you say you�ve been out with her before so it shouldn�t be that difficult), then, when you�re both nice and relaxed (pick your moment carefully!) tell her straight that you think the two of you could have something special going on, given the chance. Tell her you feel bad for the boyfriend, but he�s not here and you are! And look her in the eye when you tell her � be confident. Let her know how strongly you feel.

What�s the worst that could happen? She says no! At least you�ve tried, and you�ll know where you stand. Just make sure you don�t try to coerce her into anything, then if it doesn�t work out the way you want, accept it, and you can still be friends.

[*ALFIE*]

Snook is right, I don't want to be negative but if things don't work, be prepared. When you tell her your feelings keep stressing about her current boyf/relationships saying something like you "respect the fact you are in a relationship but...." etc etc.

Don't put your hopes too high - really sorry for sounding so negative,i wish you all the best and take things easy.

[theren_911]

Not cool.

It's come to bad times when people are giving advice on how to move in on someones partner.

I'd advise you to go play with traffic, on the Motorway

[Gevs1966]

There was no need for that was there theren_911!?!

I was only asking an honest question, If you read the question back to yourself you will see that I completely respect the fact she has a boyfriend, was just seeking a little friendly advice.

Besides which, I have never played with traffic before, maybe you could show me how to do it

[ronnie963]

is her boyfriend bigger than you!

[snook]

theren_911, if Gevs1966 has strong feelings for this girl, is he supposed to completely ignore them simply because she�s already in a (possibly shaky) relationship? How do you know he and this girl aren�t made for each other? Most people drift from one pairing to another before settling down, and yes, sometimes the lines are a bit blurred, sometimes one of the pair is still (nominally, at least) in a relationship with someone else. Following your reasoning, everyone would always act in an entirely gentlemanly fashion in these matters, but this is the real world and we're talking about real relationships here, and if you want the girl, you gotta let her know, simple as that.

It would be different if she was married. That would be a committed relationship, and making a move on her would be stepping over the line. But at this level, boyfriend/girlfriend, I don�t think it�s so terrible to approach a girl and make your feelings known. If she really doesn�t want anything to do with Gevs, she�ll tell him, end of story. But it she does� ah, if she does�

[theren_911]

Well, it seems the world and his dog thinks this is okay.

How would any of you feel in this situation, including Gev. Because I'll bet Mr X. who's going traveling has no idea that his girlfriend is "confused".

I have read the question, you know she has a boy friend, you claim to "respect" this fact. However, you wait till he's gone on an extended trip, when she's going to be lonely and vulnerable anyway, to make your move.

Smooth...

[Gevs1966]

Right, obviously you haven't read the question properly as I said I haven't made a move and was meerely asking peoples advice on what to do!

I also, haven't just waited til she is vulnerable either this whole thing started before "Mr X", as you put it, went travelling. It's not like I planned this whole thing to happen so when he was away I could take advantage of her! I'm extremely offended that this was even suggested.

Maybe if you weren't so quick to judge people then you might learn to consider all the possibilities before passing comment.

[gill3891]

Ok, am not sure if all the people who answered this question are guys, it does seem like it, but here's a girls opinion! I think that what snook was saying is right, if you don't make a move you will be kicking yourself. If people have told you that she might liek you back, then the only thing you can do really is tell her how you feel. It is then up to this girl to make a decision as to whether her absent b/f is worth waiting for. Might help if we knew how long they had been together before he went? I personally would tell her, without the expectation that she would say yes and see what happens. If she choses to make the decision to go for it with you, then thats her choice, she would be the one 'cheating'. Hope you go for it and get the girl!

[theren_911]

Gev, you posted here for an opinion. If it insults you, Tough!

Stealing someones Girlfriend is bad, mmkay?

Then again, I'm not in your position. Maybe I am judging you harshly.

Good luck, hope Mr X. isn't a nutter.

[Gevs1966]

Actually mate, I posted here for a bit of friendly advice NOT an abusive, judgemental opinion!

I obviously realise that stealing someone elses girlfriend is not a very nice thing to do which is why I asked for the aforementioned advice in the first place.

I suggest in future you either read things carefully and not judge people and situations you don't know or keep your opinions to yourself.

[bob911]

This seems to be an interesting forum. I don't know the answer for your problem but I think you don't have options. Pick the right moment and let her know how you feel.

I am in the same situation. A little worse..:)..she is my roommate. She has a b'frnd..may be since 2-3 months. Any expert advise? A girl's adivse is very much appreciated. Also tell me how to approach the situation as I never had a girl friend. Thanks.
-Bob