Copycat family members....

[spaced]

What would you do? My fiances sister and her husband copy everyhting we do. We mention the words "we are thinkg of getting some blinds", a week later they have blinds. The list goes on. We have recently bought a new car, they have gone and got the same car, newer model. Cant believe it. I wanna say something but dont wanna start a fight. Maybe I do!

[dilligaf]

Tell them you are emigrating to Australia.

[snook]

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Just be content that they find you so fascinating. And that you're not them.

[Loosehead]

Tell them you are thinking of harvesting elephant dung and are going to buy some elephants and put them in the garden!

Seriously they sound like a right bunch of losers!

[CT]

Tell them your going to dig up your garden and plant vegetables.

[Jay70]

say your having a sex change

[happy_face]

I have the same issue with my brother in law. He feels he's in competition with everyone, friends and family included. If me and Mr Happy acquires something new he would never be happy and give compliments, in his head he's already trying to work out how he can out do us. We don't really care about it but it does do our heads in that when we next see them he has to drone on and on about his now newer model of ours and how much better it is.

I feel sorry for him because there's obviously an issue of lack of self confidence.

To be honest I don't know what's the best thing to do. I wish I knew as his behaviour is now affecting the family relationship.

good luck

[jno]

Snook is right. there's really nothing to be done. You can't stop someone buying a car. You can't make other people do anything - you can only change yourself.

So maybe consider why this bothers you, why you might even think it worth starting a family fight over. They are presumably just people without a lot of imagination who envy your taste and want to be in competition with you. But there can't be a competition if you refuse to compete. Just go your own sweet way, doing what you want - and enjoy telling them about it, confident in the knowledge that you know what they're going to do next!

[stoo_pid]

My wife has a friend just like them, always coincidentally coming up with similar, yet always more expensive, ideas. Until recently we've always found it easy to ignore it so other than that I can't really suggest what you should do.

However, I can suggest what you shouldn't do - if you're going to have children, DO NOT tell them any names you're considering. For family reasons Mrs Pid always wanted to call our first son Jacob & everyone she knew had known this for ages. When her so-called friend fell pregnant a few months before us she also called her son Jacob, insisting she had always wanted the name, despite no-one being able to recall ever hearing her mention it any conversation. As you can imagine my wife was not impressed!

No idea if your in-laws are as bad as that but I wouldn't risk it.

[laurence2]

Reverse your question and copy them for a few months, meaning almost everything, Hair,makeup,clothes,holidays,restaurants etc, the list can be as long as you see fit,Then you mention we were thinking of doing that & this afterall your only copying their good taste,Bet your notice a change as wanabee,s won,,t wanabee no more

[noxlumos]

Does it matter? It's really very flattering and they obviously just think you're something worth copying. Just don't let it bother you, life's not a competition and if it was you'd win on the grounds of originality, so chill out and ignore it, that's what I'd do.

[Emma-J]

At the end of the day, by going out and buying bigger and better things than you, its saving you money, I know its annoying that they keep doing it, but you could try NOT telling them your plans etc and just doing them anyway or subtely tell them that although your flattered they think you have good ideas etc you'd prefer they didn't copy you all the time.

My other half's brother and fiancee are exactly the same, just before christmas we moved into a nice big house and now they have bought a really big, expensive car, I always feel that they are trying to out-do us.

Good luck anyway.
EJ

[joko]

whenever you have any sort of plan, tell them you intend to do the opposite - then when they have 'beaten you to it' do what you had originally intended. they won't be able to keep changing theirs over and over again.

treat it as quite flattering and a game - its sad for them but don't let it get to you.

also make casual jokes about it - show you couldn't care less and actually think its a bit sad - but in a jokey way - they will soon start to feel uncomfortable when they realise that far from them 'winning' over you -that you aren't even aware its a competition.

[MrPahoehoe]

I wouldn't worry about it too much. It might not be as brazen as you think, but just a few unhappy coincidences? If it definitely is them copying you, then it is a compliment. They obviously respect your opinion and taste, or even if they are trying to just outdo you: then that is motivated by jealousy, which is a compliment to you.

I'm not the sort of person who copies people but I have noticed that a few of my friends, whilst not SEEMING to consider what they purchase, will always seem to find a good bargin and buy a really good product. Like the sort of people who just wear cloths better than you. Whilst I don't copy these people, I have to admit that I ususally slighly envy them.

If you really hate what they are doing then you could always try some military misinformation. Next time you buy something, which you aren't happy with, tell them about it, then make an excuse and leave before you can tell them anymore. Hopefully they will copy you and buy it and be disappointed. Then you can take it to the next level by waiting till in polite company and saying to them how you wish they'd said they wanted one too cos you would have sold them yours as you don't like it. Thats not confrontational or owt, but it would wind them up I reckon. But you have to think, is it really worth falling out over?

[Kingaroo]

I have a friend who is a very careful shopper. If he buys an electric fan or window blinds, I know he found the best deal on the best product. If I want one too, I buy it. I often ask his advice before I buy, even if it's something he doesn't have, as I know he'll have good advice. I am flattered if he ever goes and buys something I have -- which has happened twice. I think he likes being considered the expert. Maybe it has to do with the way I defer to him -- it is never a competition. In some of these other stories, it seems like the copycat then brags about his item being better. That's annoying, I guess I'd just say straight out, "Oh, clever you, you must be so much smarter to have gotten something more wonderful." If they are at all sensitive to sarcasm, they might get a clue.

[Lore]

I can relate to this.. for over 10 years, whenever I visit my brother's house it's like stepping out of my house and back into MY HOUSE - only different people!
everything has to be the same, then they crack on that I copied them! huh?

[Jay70]

I find when this happens if you tell them, in a joking manner that you will have to start charging them for all your consumer advice soon and ask them where they would be without you to follow. It might make them realise how sad they are.

[Jay70]

I wouldn't worry about it - In fact I would love it. I could entertain myself for ages thinking of way's to make them follow my every and find ways to make them look stupid. In most situations you can normally turn it to your own advantage somehow. Rather than getting cross get even. What normally upsets people who are insecure the most is the fact your not bothered or find them a joke.